Katy Perry - 'Hot 'n' Cold'
Time to break ranks here, I think. When 'I Kissed A Girl' came out, the official ChartBlog position (not that we really have an official position on anything much) was that you can go a long way by chasing that Titillation Dollar, that faux-mosexuality sold as female solidarity is just plain attention-seeking, and that the pop fans of Britain deserved less cynical treatment from its stars.
Now, first of all, obviously there's a massive irony in any snarkyblog claiming to be flying the flag for a reduction in world cynicism. And secondly, we weren't wrong about 'I Kissed A Girl'. But I'm not so sure about this one.
(Here's a version of the song Katy did for American TV without the swearing. I've pinched it. Is that setting a better example than running a sweary video, The Daily Mail? Anyway, thanks Mr Leno!)
The potty-mouthed wordplay is still with us, of course, and in a lot of ways it helps to think about Katy as a kind of deliberately controversial Lily Allen than an 18-Certificate Miley Cyrus, even though this song is definitely more of a '7 Things' than it is a 'Smile'. Sometimes you need someone to come up with the one-liners you wish you'd thought of when your loved one turned out to be useless and rubbish. Sometimes you need a song which can soundtrack your childish revenge as you dunk his toothbrush in the toilet or put snot in her tea. This is what Katy Perry is for.
You can just imagine it, can't you? After weeks of heartache, listening to 'Foundations' by Kate Nash or '7 Things' by Miley on constant repeat to try and help you make what feels like the hardest decision of your life, you realise it's time to take a stand, rediscover your backbone, and take control of the situation. You decide to dunk his phone in the washing up (don't really do this, kids), and need a song to give you the courage to take action. So you turn to the K-Per.
After a little bit of teariness in the first verse, the chorus kicks in, and you begin slamming the phone into the water on the beat, spattering foam everywhere and screaming along with the words (seriously, DON'T do it) and dancing about in the puddles, taking good care not to slip and fall and crack your head on the fridge. Literally, it feels so wrong AND it feels so right. Pretend-lesbianism has got NOTHING on it.
We've all been there, right? We've all spray-painted 'Loser' on the wall of his/her parents house, yeah? We've all left a rotting fish in her/his car, hmm? We've all ordered a ton of horse manure to be delivered to his/her second floor flat, and then been there to let the delivery men in, haven't we?
Oh, OK, just me then. I wish this song had been around at the time, is all I'm saying.
Download: Out now
CD Released: November 24th
(Fraser McAlpine)
Comment number 1.
At 31st Oct 2008, hackerjack wrote:We've all been there, right?
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Trouble is that the pop world has also been there, for several years in fact. Ms. Perry is just the latest addition in the line of smarmy female acts who think it is cool to pretend to make fun like this. The whole thing is gettgin very, very boring.
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Comment number 2.
At 1st Nov 2008, igorah wrote:I love this song :D
And the Simlish version is quite cool too :P
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