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Blackadder is keen to end his appalling run of luck with women, until he meets the Infanta: a short, plump, sexually voracious lady with a facial hair problem.

His schemes to thwart the marriage all fail, until news comes of a new alliance between France and Switzerland. Politics now demand a match with the Hungarian princess - a charming girl. The only problem is that she's eight years old.

				Blackadder: As my tutor, old bubble face, used to say: "make love and be merry, for tomorrow you may catch some disgusting skin disease."
				Blackadder: My God! In twenty four hours I'll be married to a walrus!
				The Queen: Look at the two love birds! Blackadder: One love bird and one love elephant.

				Three messengers come to the King in quick succession with news of the war. He says, "I like not this news! Bring me some other news." This is an echo of a scene in Richard III. After hearing bad news from a third messenger, Richard says, "There, take thou that till thou bring better news."

				Test Your Cunning Try the Black Adder series one quiz.

			The traditional Swiss method of killing enemies is apparently to cut off the head then pour melted cheese down the nostrils.
			Sending Baldrick into the Infanta's bedchamber to pluck her cherry was an act of pure evil if ever there was one.