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BOBORIGMOUS AND BRAWN

Nic Philps | 13:36 UK time, Wednesday, 24 January 2007

OK Gene Wilder get level in the gym - lesson 2鈥

So, I was on the cross trainer this morning - one of maybe ten and this guy decides to get on the one next to me. Not only that, but just before he did so, he redirected one of the massive cooling fans in our direction. Well thanks a lot Jonny.

...so how do we creatively get our own back?

After first checking that he was all earphoned up, I felt it safe to let my own source of wind loose on the poor fellow.

He couldn鈥檛 hear it was me so therefore in a court of law would have no proof, and seeing as he鈥檇 just launched into a rather zealous 30 minute hill programme, which between me and you I think was a little beyond him, he was trapped 鈥 unlike the recently liberated wind.

What is wrong with these people, who stupidly and completely selfishly commandeer shared public places as their own.

Long live the blog, dog expert tonight, happy hump day y鈥檃ll.

Comments

  1. At 01:41 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Ff only i could instill this sort of revenge on thoughtless people.
    sadly, as a lady, i am unable to - its just not in us to pass wind you know.

    xx

  2. At 01:42 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Chris,
    I hope you got the hell out of there quickly and left him to enjoy your "presence"...

    I was in the gym last week doing my usual alternative Triathlon training (sauna, steam room and jacuzzi) and dying for something to happen. Was alone in the sauna. Also in the jacuzzi (and at 7 in the evening, how often does that happen?).
    Then finally, on the last leg, it happened. I was in the steam room, and the fat couple walked in, so slowly that by the time they had closed the door behind their huge behinds, all of the steam had leaked out and I was sitting there shivering. So I walked out, huffed loudly and left the door open. I wanted to say "Yeah, it was way too hot in there" but I didn't quite have the courage.

    Moose

  3. At 01:42 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Hazel Love wrote:

    Hi Chris

    Get this guy in the sauna if I were you!

    fuerte ventura
    love
    hazel
    x

  4. At 01:45 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    ho ho ho

    I'd love to do that... I'd be too scared I'd follow thru.......


    DWNB

  5. At 01:48 PM on 24 Jan 2007, becks wrote:

    ahhhhhh nothing beats a good trump with a confined victim as revenge!

  6. At 01:49 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Matt from Rudgwick wrote:

    Good afternoon Chris

    The gym is indeed a jungle.

    Fortunately ours is rarely busy, in fact often I can have it to myself, but occasionally someone decides to commandeer all of the mats at the same time performing all manner of elaborate contortions, so I tend to 鈥榓ccidentally鈥 allow one of those wonderful huge balls to roll in their direction. Always does the trick.

    Up and away first thing this morning. Hat, scarf and gloves on for a walk across the fields in Rudgwick. We so rarely seem to get the chance these days; if it ever does snow it normally means a slow, hazardous journey to work and puddles of slush by the time you get home.

    So, out into the winter wonderland with a satisfying 鈥榮crunch鈥 underfoot 鈥 sorry Chris, you said this was one of your 鈥榥nyyanngs鈥 the other day, I鈥檓 not with you on this one 鈥 a couple of obligatory snowballs and home for a steaming mug of coffee.

    A couple of quickies while they are fresh in the mind;

    Alan Bush. Inspiration. We could all take a leaf out of your book.

    Moose. Matt Damon eh? Well, it has been mentioned on more than one occasion鈥.

    I think I may pen a couple of paragraphs before popping my head round the dentist鈥檚 door and then onwards for a heavy duty game of squash.

    Why can鈥檛 every day be like this?

    Wonderful Wednesday all.

    MfR

    PS Reap the whirlwind

    PPS Weasels Ripped My Flesh


  7. At 01:50 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Tiggy wrote:

    Very late on parade today Christoph!
    Love the wind story, wtg!
    TTFN
    Tiggyxxx

  8. At 01:51 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Nunu wrote:

    Was Begininnig to think our Blog Leader had dropped off the planet...... Or has he been captured?.... Who is Nic Philps? (His name has suspicioulsy replaced Chris's at start of entries).....

    ..... Have a great day all (slightly dissapointed at the lack of the white stuff in my area of Norfolk this morning, fingers crosssed for some tomorrow)

    x

  9. At 01:53 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Cheryl the Diva wrote:

    Happy Hump Day Chris - we were getting worried about you and thought that p'raps you'd been snowed in!?

    I too had a dodgy experience relating to fitness which I've just posted on yesterday's blog. Basically, I went to a super trendy sports shop to get my 'specially ordered trainers for the Moonwalk and felt like a fish out of water. Sports shops are way too intimidating for normal cuddly ladeez! The staff are too young and fit - the whole experience was horrible!! And that's just a shop!

    Til later....

    CtD x x

  10. At 01:53 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wilsmar@home wrote:

    Mr. E you are a naughty boy.... but I like your style. The only problem is.... if the fan was blowing past him to you he wouldn't have got the full benefit of your diatribe".
    Keep warm all....
    Wilsmar

  11. At 01:54 PM on 24 Jan 2007, ELH wrote:

    Is the "What is wrong with these people, who stupidly and completely selfishly commandeer shared public places as their own" a dig at the ludicrous bloggers who post here as if it were their own community rather than The Chris Evans Blog ?

  12. At 01:54 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Jill wrote:

    Now then, CLP!

    My Dad always said two wrongs don't make a right. But that was funny! It seems to me that only men can produce such functions to command. Wouldn't have been able to do that myself!

    LOL
    Jill ;)

  13. At 01:55 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Ashy wrote:

    Excellent Chris!!Silent but deadly!!XXXAshy

  14. At 01:58 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Dissing Dave wrote:

    Sorry Chris, but on this occasion I fear that Physics may win over Chemistry and Biology combined.
    I suspect that part of the reason "Johnny" had directed the fan towards his back was to diffuse his own expulsions, as there are certain qualities of backdraft that cannot be tolerated even by the previous owner, one of those is the mid-exercise waft, closely followed in my own experience by the football crowd beery guff!
    Also if your own cheek-parter was subject to the effect of the fan it would be, if you'll excuse the pun, blown off towards pastures new.

    As my Mum is wont to say! It's an ill wind that blows nobody anygood!!!

    DD out

    PS Thinking of you HL

    PPS Looking forward to the dog whisperer later!

  15. At 01:59 PM on 24 Jan 2007, SammyM wrote:

    As the old saying goes...

    You smelt it...you dealt it you cross training freak!!

    (Admittedly made the last bit up)

    Roll on the dog expert @ 5

    Adios

    SM

  16. At 01:59 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Good afternoon, Christoff!

    Sounds like a right prat! Why are there so many rude people in our mosern world!? Not nice!

    Do you feel the better of all this exercise? I wish I could get motivated to do something to get fit! Instead, I'll carry on procrastinating!

    Have a great day, one and all! I can now go and get lunch ... but does anyone know how to get glitter glue out of an expensive carpet!?

    Group huggles!

    Love, Susan, the Highland lass!

    Johnny Bench (1947-) U.S. baseball player
    "I was thinking about making a comeback until I pulled a muscle vacuuming."

    Dolly Parton (1946-) U.S. singer, songwriter and actress
    "Do I lift weights? Sure. Every time I stand up."

    "Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will."
    ~ Mahatma Gandhi

  17. At 02:03 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Liz n' Doogle wrote:

    Hi Blog People and Chris,

    Or should that be Chris and Blog People - whatever. I was a day behind with the blog and just read about Enzo and his hair. I have my own fluffy monster called Doogle but Doogs (other name - he also answers to Toots and Doogle Damn Dog) is a Lhasa Apso so he doesn't moult. This is a big plus on the vacuuming side but as he is not over fond of being clipped, a bit costly. I did try to clip him myself but until it grew out, I think I was in danger of being prosecuted for cruelty to small dogs. He did look a total mess.

    Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, dogs and serendipity. I have had three main relationships in my life (men, not family) all of which have ended in tears. I now live with my little dog and I have never been happier. He is my constant companion - he comes to work with me and sits under my desk until it's walkies time and never complains. I have taken him on holiday, to hotels, in restaurants and he is always welcome. It seems one of the few places I can't take him is the shopping mall. That's OK, who needs Lakeside anyway?

    I can honestly say that I have never loved anyone more than I love my little Doogle. I am currently sitting at my desk with him at my feet and we are sharing a bag of rice crackers. I don't think he really likes them, I think he eats them in case he offends me!

    Love and peace to Chris, Enzo and any other dog lovers out there,

    Liz

  18. At 02:07 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Arthur Noon Chris

    Good job it wasn't trampolining else you could have had a little accident!

    Meetings meetings meeting - dull dull dull!

    :o) Jo

  19. At 02:11 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    What no kisses????? You you usally give us at least one!

    Ah well, at least you made me smile with your 'farting gestures'. Wind always makes me laugh, but I guess in that guy's situation it would more likely make your eyes water.

    Glad to hear you've got a dog expert (even if it's not me, despite my offers!) tonight. Look forward to hearing that, should be great.

    Love the show Chris, the hibernation bit was fab last night.

    Cheers xxxx

  20. At 02:13 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Zoooooby wrote:

    Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha......

    I was made redundant on sunday - its the first time i'm laughed since


    cheers crhissy baby

    hear ya laters

    Love

    z

  21. At 02:15 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Parker wrote:

    A well dressed lawyer went into a bar for a martini and found himself beside a scrungy-looking drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand. The attorney leaned closer while the drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring "Well, it looks like plastic." Then he rolled it between his fingers, adding, "But it feels like rubber."

    Curious, the lawyer asked, "What do you have there mister?"

    The drunk stammered, "Damn if I know, but it looks like plastic and feels like rubber."

    The lawyer said, "Let me take a look." And the drunk handed it over. The attorney rolled it between his thumb and fingers, then examined it closely. "Yeah, it does look like plastic and feel like rubber, but I don't know what it is. Where did you get it anyway?"

    The drunk replied, "Outa my nose."

  22. At 02:18 PM on 24 Jan 2007, jillygoat wrote:

    Christoph, I'm trying to type this with tears running down my face, and my shoulders shaking!!! That guy certainly got everything he deserved - well done you!! Oh what an image I've got in my head now ........ he, he.

    I don't know why some people behave like that - it's like when you get on a packed train and someone's sitting there with bag, coat etc on the empty seat next to them - don't be so bloody selfish!!! Look around you and consider other people for once.

    As you say, long live the blog and more importantly people like you - you have made me laugh out loud - thank you xx

    jillygoat xx

  23. At 02:19 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Yeah... Hazel....

    Get him in the Sauna and then Fart!


    DWNB

  24. At 02:38 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    DWNB!!!

    Anna - we've been watching Celeb BB - we know different! And well done for usurping Hazel - 2 days on the trot at number 1 and we'd never have heard the last of it.

    Moose

    PS HOT PINK Wednesday has just been renamed BROWN Wednesday.

  25. At 02:38 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Jude wrote:

    Sadly, we are all getting more and more selfish these days - and even more sadly it seems to be encouraged.. self help books, counsellors - all say that putting your own happiness first is the beginning of a happy contented life - but that is so not true..,

    I do however believe in Karma, so when I watch someone do something stupid/selfish/horrible, I like to imagine what may come back on them!

    And why are people allowed to use gym equipment without a towel.. and those who do have a towel never wipe down the equipment that they have just sweated over??

  26. At 02:54 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Gaby wrote:

    testing testing

    have had 3 refused

    Gaby

  27. At 03:00 PM on 24 Jan 2007, ChrissieS wrote:

    Hi Chris (and everyone)

    It's been a long day without you, but no pressure!

    You are hilarious and just a wee bit naughty! But the guy was an idiot, so why not.

    Re: people in public places, treating the place as their own: try travelling on the bus or train in Glasgow (other cities available). Morons get on the transport, place all their bags on the seat next to them and then proceed to read the Herald (broadsheet newspaper) at arms' length so no-one stands a chance of sitting next to them. That is, until yours truly arrives. I take utter pleasure in making people move their bags/fold their paper/let me sit at the window seat and then I get off one stop down the line!!

    Priceless!

    Love to all, happy Wednesday!

    C xx

  28. At 03:01 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Gaby wrote:

    Chris

    Corker of a story.

    When you were describing the story, for some reason I pictured that bloke in 'Four Weddings....'. The older guy with the ruddied face who fancies Carrie ('cos she's worth it)...the one who goes back to the hotel where Hugh Grant and McDowell (or was he in Planet of the Apes?) go back to after the wedding. He sits downstairs in the bar and drinks whisky and talks about her as a 'fine filly'. Anway, yes I pictured him. Why did I tell you all that? No idea at all.

    Oh my goodness, it's 3pm and I have at least 3 months-worth of jobs to do within the next hour.

    Gaby
    x


    ps yes , long live the blog

    pps EG (Scotland) I have tried to reply to your post a number of times - my posts have been rejected as soon as I post - so it's not the content that is causing the problem. Maybe, the BP have spammed me. It was on yesterday's that I was trying to post - maybe they have stopped that.

    Will try again.

    xx

  29. At 03:09 PM on 24 Jan 2007, SammyM wrote:

    Yes CLP....Who the heck is Nic Philps????

  30. At 03:11 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Gaby wrote:

    I predict a riot

  31. At 03:15 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Inspector Cleudo wrote:


    ELH

    I think the blog is rather bombarded by a couple of people whom migrated from The radio 2 message boards. Still I suppose the normal people amongst us don't bother reading or take with a pinch of salt.

    ie {{{{{{{{{ 666)))))))))))))

  32. At 03:23 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Q wrote:

    Hi y'all

    Hey Chris
    Watcha need next time is a box of matches to light the emissions. He won't mess with ya next time.

    Hope this helps

  33. At 03:26 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Am planning a gym visit myself, after my HR meeting. Have had some eggs, beans and beetroot for lunch so that I'm prepared for any personal space invaders.
    If I get any complaints I shall blame you Chris for inciting me to it.

    Long live the blog!
    Moose

  34. At 03:35 PM on 24 Jan 2007, fillybay wrote:

    Hi Chris,glad youve got the doggy expert on tonight..............that should be interesting.......can he/she get Enzo looking deep into your eyes or will it never be 'real love'.
    I did mention it on recent blog.....here goes again.............
    Can you do a feature on a wenesday with an eco eating expert.Telling us how to shop and eat with minimal enviromental impact. Eg,packaging,imported v local.The deal on products being labelled with plane logo if fllown in.Idea inspired by info that, out of season, lettuce is one of the most energy consuming products to produce in this country.

    Snows been fab down here in Chidd and now its melted away and all looks clean and tidy,none of that slushy stuff,lv to all,fb.

  35. At 03:38 PM on 24 Jan 2007, F 38 wrote:

    Get a load of paper hole punchings and put them in his gym bag!!!

  36. At 03:42 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Stockers wrote:

    Ey up Lambie Pie,
    First time comment again cos yesterdays did not get posted for some reason - not quite got the 'ang of this blogging going on yet?
    You do seem to have a few loyal subjects who respond very quickly with humour as soon as you post your little missives.
    But who is Nic Philps and how come you are getting later? Is your new house a long way from your old one?
    On the trumping thing - can't say i've ever been able to do it on purpose - hat off too you!!
    xxxx

  37. At 03:44 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Parker wrote:

    There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years. Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife's annoyance.
    "You'll fart your guts out one of these days," she always complained.
    After a particularly bad week the wife decided to have her revenge and got up early, placing some turkey giblets in the bed next to the old boy's arse.
    While making breakfast downstairs she heard his usual morning fart reverberate through the floorboards followed by a scream.
    Twenty minutes later a rather shaken man came downstairs.
    "You was right all along Missus," the old man says, "I finally did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God, I managed to push 'em back in!"
    Revenge is sweet!

  38. At 03:44 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Jude...

    Totally believe in Karma.... to its highest level. I know of two "natural" fatalities to folk who were bad bad bad bad bad.

    However, am struck by a thought. Why do all the good ones die young?

    DWNB

  39. At 03:50 PM on 24 Jan 2007, TheBigUn wrote:

    That Gene Wilder has a lot to answer for! ;-)

    I have to say some of the people in the gym you attend do not seem like very nice, considerate people ;-( Still as long as they do not get 鈥渨ind鈥 of what you are doing to them you should be OK! ;-))))

    Keith
    xx

  40. At 03:53 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Afternoon All !

    Leafy Surrey became Snowy Surrey this morning and it was utterly beautiful. I loved my morning drive to work this morning. Everything was so crisp and still......And now its all gone :(

    Keith - loved the panto joke on Moose.... :)

    Thanks for the comments and thoughts yesterday all very much appreciated.

    To think - tomorrow is Thursday, it鈥檒l be the weekend before we know it !

    Yippee !!!

    Fantastic Wednesdays All :)

    Tracey-Ann x x x

    P.S - My lovely, gorgeous, kind hearted mechanic is picking up 6 old tyres for me so as I can make potato tubs out of them (saw it on an alternative gardening programme) He is such a darling. Can鈥檛 wait to start planting out on my allotment... So much to do !! x x x

  41. At 04:01 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Nic Philps works on Chris' show and he is absolutely lush !! x x x

  42. At 04:03 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Lynne wrote:

    Thought I would try and see if I'm allowed in.....?

  43. At 04:07 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Matt from Rudgwick wrote:

    Gaby

    I think you're right.

    I'm going to call the spelling police. Just in case.

    MfR

  44. At 04:16 PM on 24 Jan 2007, derek wrote:

    Chris

    Good post today hope the guy got what he deserved !!!

    If you are having the dog lady on tonight will you be taking Enzo into the studio with you or is that not allowed at the 麻豆社 cant wait to hear what is said looking forward to 5 o`clock

    hears to a good one

  45. At 04:24 PM on 24 Jan 2007, EG(Scotland) wrote:

    Ooooh Chris - you are awful - but I like you. You certainly conjured up a very vivid picture in my mind. Thank goodness the blog does not have smellorama. Presumably there was no-one else in the gym when you let rip.

    Looking forward to the dog expert (and other experts in the future).

    Thanks to those who responded (and tried to respond) to my previous post. One of the good things about the blog is that things that others say cause me to stop and reflect.

    Cheers.

    EG

  46. At 04:26 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Mr Evans Sir,
    A man not afraid to let nature take it's course.
    I salute you Sir
    You will no doubt feel an affinity with the lady desribed here.

  47. At 04:37 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Hazel Love wrote:


    Moose, and anyone else visiting a gym tonight...please dry off your equipment after use...and if I may suggest another dietary aid to further your cause... (or to jolly up the jacuzzi)(other types of spa bath are available)

    ***HEINZ BIG SOUP***

    Never fails.

    once again mes amis, pouffe pouffe
    love
    hazel
    x

    ps DWNB!!!!!

    pps Nunu and SammyM - Nic Philps is the man at the end of the telephone on a pc when Chris isn't able to type the blog in person...

    ppps VIVE LE BLOG!

  48. At 04:50 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Susie Mac wrote:

    I don't get the gym - waiting to use kit - annoying people. I prefer a brisk walk or a cycle out in the fresh air and it's free. Why pay to go on a treadmill and watch some rubbish on a screen when you can be out and about. Swimmings great too you can completely zone out.

    S x

  49. At 04:54 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Susie Mac wrote:

    PS

    My boyfriend has a little song he sings before he farts

    Listen to this
    Too good to miss
    (then farts)

    I told my boss this and now he sings it.

    Men - love them x

  50. At 04:57 PM on 24 Jan 2007, mackie wrote:

    ooooh you are naughty.......but i like you!!!

  51. At 05:02 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Anonymous wrote:

    ..where are you??? you not well?

  52. At 05:09 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    ELH - if you don't like it BLOG OFF. I'm am sick to the back teeth of people who don't like this blog!!! GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRR

    Whenever I need to fart at work I stand near a sleeping or unconcious patient and let one go (only silent ones) and it can then be blamed on the patient.


    Well done CLP - hope u feel better soon very disapointed to hear marconi start the show! Nothing personal but I love CLP.

    Zooooooby - sorry to hear that hope you fing something soon x

    Moose - don't be fatist it's not nice ;-) x

  53. At 05:13 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Littlest Hobo wrote:

    Good Morning from Vancouver and good evening to all back in Blighty,

    With another busy morning ahead and then the inaugral meeting of the Vancouver chapter of the OAMC, I shall have to embrace my most feared written foe-breivty.

    Mr Evans---All the best and a swift return to the fulness of health. We await your return to the airwaves with breath that can only be described as 'baited'

    In the meantime, wlecome to Mr Marconie, saving the day.

    Good day to you

    Dr. T

  54. At 05:15 PM on 24 Jan 2007, TheBigUn wrote:

    Very sad news Mr Evans,

    Get well soon!

    Keith

  55. At 05:49 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Wass append to Christof????? Ou Est Il?

    DWNB

  56. At 05:54 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    OMG - what's wrong Chris! Missed you on my way home tonight. Not that I don't adore Monsieur McConie - but I did miss you Christophe. So turned on new Cd - well new to me, of 1 Giant Leap how good is that. I'm going to select a track for the 'Now don't say this doesn't make you feel good' feature.

    Just thought - man in Gym didn't get revenge did he?

    Ciao xx

  57. At 06:05 PM on 24 Jan 2007, jillygoat wrote:

    Ooh CLP - hope you're not sick 'cos of your wind!

    Get well soon!

    jillygoat xx

  58. At 06:44 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    ELH - 'Is the "What is wrong with these people, who stupidly and completely selfishly commandeer shared public places as their own" a dig at the ludicrous bloggers who post here as if it were their own community rather than The Chris Evans Blog?' .... and I say .... 'HUH?!'

  59. At 06:59 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    I was number 1 - yippee, and made all the better for the fact that moose was right behind me.

    DWNB - LOL, i once knew a guy that did that....on our first night together. Note the word once!

    Lynne - welcome..... altho i am a little scared to welcome you inc ase anyone thinks i am trying to take this blog over as my own. For fear of that finger being pointed at me, im sorry but i cant welcome you..... even tho you are very welcome....oh im so confused.

    xx

    PS Jude, not one to promote selfishness, but if I dont look after myself, I cant look after everyone else in my life!

  60. At 07:06 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Hey Chris .... is Nic Philips your Ghost?! And why weren't you broadcasting tonight!? I missed last night - are you doing something more interesting tonight?

    Liz n' Doogle - he sounds a honey!

    Zoooooby - commiserations!

    ChrissieS - lol! I'll look out for you next time I'm in Glasgow!! I'll be the one reading the P&J!

    Parker - where do you get them from!?? Your posts are always an absolute hoot!

    Cathmel - 'Blog off'!!!! That's brilliant! You summed it up for us all! I visited the message boards just once ..... saw how petty and downright nasty everyone was being and never went back!!! I can't understand folk who get a kick out of that!

  61. At 07:08 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Giles Lawyer wrote:

    A good evening to all

    Let's hope Mr Evans gets over his illness soon.

    Cathmel

    I think the blog is a tribute to Mr Evans and his great popularity.
    Thats why people enjoy blogging except when a few people turn it into a social chat room club. Your response to ELH was really uncalled for. Ladies please remember you are ladies and act accordingly.
    Blogging to me is about being creative to add but not to tell chapter and verse about yourself in essay form and I can do without group hugs and kisses thankyou.
    It's very childish and purile.

    good evening.

  62. At 07:27 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Christoff - I'm guessing that you're not well - hoping it's not serious and praying you are on the mend soon, honey.

    Found this poem and thought it would sum up how your humble bloggers and blogettes will be feeling about you.

    When You're Not Here

    When you are ill,
    our sun goes under a cloud.
    Your presence in our lives
    is such a bright joy
    that everything seems in shadow
    when you're not here.
    When you aren't feeling well,
    we feel the lack
    of your glowing energy
    and contagious vitality.
    When you are sick
    we feel incomplete,
    like a jigsaw puzzle
    with a missing piece;
    Please rest,
    take good care of yourself,
    and feel better.
    We miss you
    and want you back.

    Get well soon.

    By Joanna Fuchs


  63. At 07:41 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Giles Lawyer - with all due respect, I think it is Mr Evan's call if he feels that those who comment on his blog are turning it into 'a social chat room club'. Chris is an intelligent, sociable gentleman ... and the man who invented huggles .... do you really think he's upset that he has created a little community here who genuinly care about him and each other?

    Blogging is creative in all its forms - including the conversations that can emerge through the comments section. I think it's very supercilious and condescending of you to suggest that the people who come here regularly are uncreative, childish and purile.

    Good evening to you too!

  64. At 07:58 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Giles - ref Cathmel. In the words of Lisa Stansfield.

    She may not be a lady....... but shes all woman....

    [Hugs]
    xx

  65. At 08:15 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Littles Hobo wrote:

    Good afternoon from Vancouver,

    Having had a brief read through the somewhat fractious contributions today, I would respectfully suggest that any forms of belligerence, antagonism and infighting be hereby and forever banished from this otherwise wholesome forum.

    To those who criticize, I suppose you have the right but I question the value or need of such interjections. To those who rise (or in my opinion 'fall') to the challenge and argue in riposte, don't bother. This forum is enjoyable due to the entente cordial, the camaraderie and much more...Let us not sully it with confrontation.

    "The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a discussion"

    and before you are tempted to jump in and argue with dissenters, remember...

    "Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute"

    A genuine good day to you all.

    Dr. T

  66. At 08:25 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Oh Chris - sorry to hear your not well old chap, missed you tonight, forgot how attached we all become to our drive time crew.

    I LOVED the blogoff comment. hehehe

    I don't post here often but read every day and love this little community thing going on. I think ELH is just miffed cause CLP mentions blog every so often on his show.

    Miffed also now as BlogSpot is unavailable for use and i wanted to use :0(

    Oh Well, Nt All!

  67. At 08:26 PM on 24 Jan 2007, mwk wrote:

    Littles Hobo, thank you xx

  68. At 08:28 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Giles Lawyer wrote:

    Susan S

    I have to point out to you that I did in not say anyone was childish and purile you actually play with my words. I said ((((((Hugs))))) being posted all the time were childish.
    However I will take my leave.

    So, now we now what Cathmel got her BSC in, farting next to sleeping patients.

    Farewell.

  69. At 08:39 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Dr T

    you are absolutely right. I will take your lead on that one from now on.

    Keith mentioned something similar next door.

    xx

  70. At 08:58 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    speachless.....

  71. At 09:11 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Tracey Gregory wrote:

    Anyone know where Chris was today? heard a bit of Stuart Maconi but he didn't say while I was listening. Fur poisoning? I know how it feels as I have three large dogs, two cats and a bird. I have just bought a huge bed with brass knobs which is really high off the floor but our biggest dog can still jump up on it - try stopping him!

    Regards to all bloggers!

    TG

  72. At 09:11 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Giles Lawyer,

    Thanks for bringing yourself down to my level. It must have been a long journey as you obviously consider yourself to be superior to me. Are you my ex husband in disguise?

    Cathmel

  73. At 09:18 PM on 24 Jan 2007, EG (Scotland) wrote:

    Missed you on the drivetime show Chris although all credit to Mr M for standing in. DogWoman was great. Don't think I'll ever be Alpha though - couldn't leave pets (in my case buns not dogs) for 5 minutes without talking to them and giving them cuddles. So, I'm not the Alpha rabbit - well I don't care, coz I know they love me and I certainly love them.

    What about the Home Economics woman, Margarete (spelling?). She was fascinating - it was like a history lesson - of TV as well as food.

    To all who want and need ...I send you hugs and XXXXX. And to those who don't, then just leave them - it's no problem.

    keep on blogging

    EG :-) :-) ;-)

  74. At 09:21 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Matt from Rudgwick wrote:

    Just thought I'd pop my head round the e-door and see if the personal essay/hugs/social chat police were still around........

    Nope, all clear on the western front.

    I'll keep this brief, some people get offended if you pen more than a couple of lines.

    Some of us have been merrily scribbling our thoughts, memories, problems, suggestions, recipes, whatever, for several months now.

    With no complaint.

    I'm not for a second suggesting that anything I, or anyone else, has written has been everyone's cup of tea. Some days I waffle (cue cries from Chief Inspector Clueless), some days others are soppy and sugary. So what? As we said here last week, scroll on, no-one is forcing you to come here, or to read anything.

    It is interesting to see that the veiled whinges are coming from people that either don't post regularly, or prefer to whinge under different names. If you've got something to say, say it, or go and whinge somewhere else.

    Over to you Chris. What is good for the blog? Free speech and random ramblings or rules and regulations governing subject matter and length?

    Personally, I always thought it was the former.

    Have a great sleep friends. Get well soon Chris.

    MfR

  75. At 09:22 PM on 24 Jan 2007, wrote:

    sorry Dr T, will now be silent with respect to dissenters. You spoke wise words

    x x

  76. At 09:56 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Sammie wrote:

    Chris,

    Hope you feel better soon lovey!!! Missed you tonight x x x x.

    Did you play 'I won't let the sun go down on me' for me last night? I'm not arrogant enough to assume that you'd read my ramblings and had therefore played it for that reason, but I'd like to think so!!!

    (Sorry haven't blogged before now peeps - at a different working location today, sitting with bigwigs!!)

    People who are selfish like that in public deserve to be humiliated!!! Good on you Chris.

    ALSO - you didn't say anything about 'Nic Philps' as I mentioned in yesterday's ramblings - IS HE YOUR GHOST WRITER??????

    Zoooooooby #20 - sorry to hear your news! Hope you can make this an opportunity???

    Jude - Karma? So right. It is thoughts of Karma that 'calm' me when people are horrible...

    Also, if you don't like the Blog, don't read it and then write complaining posts - GL!!!! Cathmel - I know you have a FAB degree - take no notice (I have an ex-hubby like that too - just think Karma...)

    Hazel - guess you must have had a very busy one, like me?

    Moose and Parker - thanks for the :-)))))))

    Take care all,

    S xx.

  77. At 11:15 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Prof Plum wrote:

    Good heavens

    What an interesting read.
    Poor old EH and Giles L.
    They dare be critical of the style of a few posters and they are accused of not liking the blog at all and to blog off
    I think they are entiled to free speech just as much as the rest of certain bloggers don't you think.
    It reminds me of the old Message boards style But thats another story.

    It is after all the Chris Evans Blog which poeple want to read about and sometimes interact with a bit of fun.

  78. At 11:36 PM on 24 Jan 2007, Dorothy Dewdrop wrote:

    Been thier Gingee - I`m in the gym happily pumin` iron and enjoying watchin` this gorgious girl on MTV (I`m a lesbian). Then guess what brezzes in, only the testosterone kid. He makes a bee line for the Monitor hanging from the ceiling and changes channels from MTV to Sky News. I was fumin`. I dropped the weights and changed the channel back to MTV. No sooner had I done this than one of the gym staff walks in and askes me if I changed channels? "What of it!" I said.
    "That`s not what we have here!" He explained. So he changes it to something showing mountains and inspirational pictures, which I have to be frank wasn`t at all girlie but it did inspire me to work harder. But hey, where had my freedom of choice gone?

    Now I`m thinkin` of movin` my rowin` machine to the local strip bar.

    Love

    Dorothy xx

  79. At 12:12 AM on 25 Jan 2007, Granny Bev wrote:

    I've read the Blog this evening and have to agree with the majority of bloggers re ELH's comments.
    As with tv programmes; if you don't like what you see/hear - either turn over or switch off! Quite simple really!
    Please let the rest of us enjoy what we like.

    Chris, I hope you feel much better; the national lurgy has hit a lot of us; R & R seems to be the answer!
    Best wishes to all CE bloggers (new and old!)
    Granny Bev

  80. At 01:04 AM on 25 Jan 2007, Nick Simpson wrote:

    I am a virgin blogger! That's right this is my first time. I found this mildly interesting but is it just going to get better and better with experience or will I get bored and just wish I could go to sleep instead?!

    That was it really. Don't have anything interesting to add to the blog but when I do you'll be the first to know.

    Nick in Manchester

  81. At 03:27 AM on 25 Jan 2007, john snell wrote:

    hi chris was driving to work and heard you play the revelations (if i called you on the telephone) great song please may i hear it again if possible and have you some information about them . all the best john

  82. At 07:22 AM on 25 Jan 2007, EG(Scotland) wrote:

    Good morning All - well this has been an interesting session of blogs.

    Susan S - forgot to say yesterday that Yes I am still up for a Scottish meet (other meets probably available - but all welcome to this one!) Hopefully others also interested. I think we are probably at opposite ends - so maybe best to wait until weather settles.

    EG

  83. At 09:12 AM on 25 Jan 2007, Lynne wrote:

    Thanks Anna, it should have been welcome back. I have tried over the last few days to join in with the comments but I just got a message to say I wasn't allowed! So it was most annoying. I just didn't want to write much in case it was another waste of time.

    Hope this one gets through.

    Lynne x

  84. At 09:13 AM on 25 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Morning fellow bloggers one and all.
    If I may be so bold as to be wishing you all a darned fine...

    TEAL Thirsty Thursday.

    Chris - I hope all is well! Best wishes to you.
    Moose

    PS I thought we could all do with a nice calming colour today!!! I have more liveliness planned for tomorrow...colourwise anyway!

    PPS Have already promised a mate of mine a pint tonight...a good start to a Thursday!! Even if it is "hush money"...

  85. At 09:46 AM on 25 Jan 2007, Hazel Love wrote:

    Hi Chris

    Sorry to hear you're under the weather! I was under the snow yesterday, and that wasn't particularly pleasant either!

    Then, having run beautifully through all the wintry stuff yesterday, my car would not even consider starting this morning, all after I had managed to negotiate the various freezing hazards trying to walk up the road...I wouldn't mind, but I'd already de-iced it...

    Hope you are back on your feet soon, AND STAY AWAY FROM THE GYM IF YOU ARE POORLY IT ISN'T GOOD FOR YOU TO EXERCISE, PARTICULARLY IF IT IS A VIRUS I WON'T TELL YOU AGAIN.

    Good morning everybody else. Hope you are well. I may be holding a coffee morning at the other establishment today. Hope you've got the rock cakes anna.

    star anise
    love
    hazel
    x

    ps Kev C - are you in panto now then?

  86. At 09:57 AM on 25 Jan 2007, ChrissieS wrote:

    Morning All,

    Just getting my morning fix!

    Chris, you probably won't see this, but hope you are feeling better. If you can, let us know how you are doing.

    Welcome to Nick Simpson #80 - don't worry, you'll soon have something you want to say - I guarantee it!

    Where is Sallycat? Hope you are o.k. - let us know!

    To everyone else, Happy Thirsty Thursday! Will check in again later.

    C xx

  87. At 10:36 AM on 25 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Taupe?

    That's an interesting colour.

  88. At 10:46 AM on 25 Jan 2007, Caroline wrote:

    Hello Everyone
    Nic Phillips you are doing a good job, well done
    hope you are OK chris, and there's no connection with someone in hosp a few days ago.
    {{{Chris}}}

    Many reasons for not commenting much so far, just V V busy in Jan/Feb. However to day was an unexpected day off ( being freelance, client books then cancels, so what happens is I do admin at home, which mostly involves surfing the net and reading this blog ( other blogs are available)

    Anyway, Farting in gym..LOL
    I agree with comments, the gym I go to which is v small ( 2 treads, 2 bikes, 2 cross tr and weights) (seemed to have stopped in Jan too busy and too full) has people who set treadmill for 30 mins..HOGGER..I think, if you can last that long, bl**dly well run outside.

    I'll not comment about the disagreements, but as pretty much a newbie/blog virgin, I have found this blog a welcoming experience for first time commenting..I'm a bit wary of going elsewhere incase contributors aren't so kind. It is lovely to be acknowledged, but that feeling also is addictive, and it wanes after a while, it's not a problem 'cos there would be so many people to acknowledge... Some people( those who put the effort in) perform better in writing and capture the imaginations of the commentors EG Moose, Hazel Love, Keith, Gaby, PPlum, Jax, DWNB, Tracey Anne, Canadian people loads more etc.. but they've been doing it regularly and it is great to have a stable base/strand to comment around.
    Bl**dy hell for someone who doesn't want to comment- I've done alot of it...just hope it gets through the BP.

    Happy Thirsty Thursday everyone, I await Nic Phillips ghost writing with anticipation

    Love Caroline X
    I like Stuart Maconie (other DJs are available)

  89. At 10:49 AM on 25 Jan 2007, jillygoat wrote:

    Happy thirsty Thursday one and all

    CLP - hope you're feeling better today - missed you at 5pm yesterday xx

    Moose - teal is a good colour but is it greeny blue or bluey green?

    Hazel Love - any chance I can join you at the coffee morning - it's v v quiet here so far today?

    jillygoat xx

  90. At 11:12 AM on 25 Jan 2007, Sammie wrote:

    Morning All,

    What a beauty! The sky this morning was a riot of orancges, pinks and lilac - lovely!

    I want to be out, filling my lungs with crisp cold air, enjoying the feel of the sun on my face....

    T-9 hours - am nervous about this evenings date! A good outcome for this evening would be for us to like each other enough to want a second date.... Will let you know how I get on.

    Girly day off tomorrow - am soooooo looking forward to it!!

    Have a beauty all!

    S xx.

    PS - Chris, hope you feel well enough to blog today! x x x x x x x to make you feel better and soothe your fevered brow!

  91. At 11:18 AM on 25 Jan 2007, TheBigUn wrote:

    Morning bloggers and schloggers,

    So another day anther dollar! ;-)

    Will Chris rise from his sick bed to enlighten us with his words of wisdom or will we have to make it up as we go along? I do hope he is well enough to attend this evening鈥檚 show.

    moose,

    The colour magenta is also an interesting colour in my opinion. It was given its name by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe in the late 1700's. Interesting in a QI sort of way! ;-))

    Now the only real question today is will or won鈥檛 he鈥︹︹︹︹︹︹︹︹︹.blog?

    Later one and all

    Keith
    xx

  92. At 11:37 AM on 25 Jan 2007, Nicki wrote:

    Hi all,

    Well, I don't know, I tried to send a little post earlier and got the message 'You are not allowed to post messages'
    Why? wad I do??

    Oh well, try again, all I said was
    Moose: TEAL - I Like it! so much nicer than Beige

    And, Chris hope you're soon feeling better, Try some cream of Tom soup, I always want that when I'm proper poorly.

    That's all folks (for now anyway)

    Take care
    Nicki

  93. At 11:39 AM on 25 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Keith,
    I agree and nearly went for it...but having had Hot Pink yesterday I thought we needed a change from that side of the spectrum, and a flip onto the bluey green side of things.
    Only my opinion...might also be greeny blue - although that description conjurs up slightly different thoughts...

    Tiddly pom.
    Moose

    PS Is it lunchtime yet?

  94. At 11:46 AM on 25 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Sounds like a Scottish meet might be on the cards, then?! Anyone else up for that? Chris? (Well .... had to ask!)

  95. At 11:47 AM on 25 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Good morning Chris!

    How are you this morning? Hope you rested up yesterday and got Enzo to do all the fetching and carrying! I'm heading back up North to Inverness this evening, so need my fix on the road!

    Morning fellow bloggers and blogettes! I'm off to see if I can find the coffee morning, but I couldn't get through the door last night, so I don't know if everyone was hiding behind the sofa!

    Have a great Thirsty Thursday, everyone.

    Group hug? Oh, go on then!!!!

    Huggles, Susan, the Highlander

    You Are Deeply Missed

    Get well real fast, my friend,
    That鈥檚 what I wish for you,
    For while you鈥檙e sick you鈥檙e deeply missed,
    So I am sad and blue.

    So have some pity on me,
    Don鈥檛 leave me in the dump.
    Return to health real soon, my friend,
    Or I will be a grump!

    By Karl Fuchs


  96. At 11:51 AM on 25 Jan 2007, Hazel Love wrote:

    Chris, I do hope you are ok. As I will not be driving home dans mon voiture, I will probably not find out until I get through the door.

    Hope it's not serious mate, and that it is you that is under the weather, and not something horrible that has happened to the hospital person.

    I can see the green grass! Sun, robin, ice etc. Yesterdays snowman now has no head. Will have to remember not to slip on the frozen carrot on my way out later.

    BigUn, I think you will find the real question is, 'Will he, won't he, will he join the dance?'

    Jillygoat, we've only got the hall til 12, so you may have missed it. There is a poster on the door with the next dates and times.

    Anyway, a friend of mine has just sent me this, some of you may be interested, and some of you may not. Either way, I think it's definitely worth a look

    time to change the dressings
    love
    hazel
    x

    ps bleu

  97. At 12:04 PM on 25 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Is indeedy lunchtime, I didn't bring anything tho... and am contemplating what I could have.

    Am hungry. But Not Eating Bread. (See Farts).

    Have souped myself out.

    What else is there? Macaroni?

    DWNB

  98. At 12:18 PM on 25 Jan 2007, biglewy wrote:

    go chris

    i like to reap revenge in lifts, cars, at the movies, when in ques etc

    where is blog leader and why was maccaroni on last night, and was there a fox the fox ??????????????come back leader come back!!!!!!!!!1

  99. At 12:37 PM on 25 Jan 2007, wrote:

    Heaven's ABove.....

    Hazel Love. ..... I am indeedy Your Friend.


    Honored.

    DWNB

  100. At 12:49 PM on 25 Jan 2007, wrote:

    I laughed! haha.. :)

    (BTW why isn't Chris writing todays Blog?)

  101. At 01:07 PM on 25 Jan 2007, jillygoat wrote:

    Hazel Love - well that explains why the door was locked! Oh well, see you at the next coffee morning.

    I'm going to sit in the car and eat the lot on my own and put those pounds that I'd lost back on again! It won't be easy you know, but I'll do me best .....

    jillygoat x

  102. At 10:33 PM on 29 Jan 2007, doreen bellamy wrote:

    Can you help please. Trying to find the recipe for 'piggy porridge' which is supposed to be on the web page but haven't been able to find it.

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