Morrissey - 'That's How People Grow Up'
Isn't it odd how Morrissey, one of the most over-discussed of musical people ever (note I used the word 'discussed', not 'talked-about', he's hardly in the Britney/Amy league for gossip, after all), seems to be exempt from the normal rules of common sense debate. I mean Moz apologists will claim the man can do no wrong, Moz-baiters claim that he's nothing but a rubbish moany old gipper, the NME seems to want to praise him AND tell him off at the same time (in the way a bully might say you've got good hair, just before he flushes your head down the toilet), and all the while, he keeps putting records out and living his life in a typically enigmatic, quiet manner, one which seems a world away from all the hysteria.
So, to attempt to remedy this, I am going to try and review his latest effort - one of those extra tracks people record for their Greatest Hits album which are rarely as good as the actual hits themselves - without going too crazy over his heritage, or putting the tar on the hob and grabbing my feather-bag. Let's make this all about THE MUSIC, people!
Oh dear. This isn't very good, is it? I mean there's clearly been a spirited attempt at making the music sound engaging, what with the churning guitars, doleful hidden synths, a band playing with fire and poison, all that...
But, dearie me, this isn't a good song, not at all, and most of the reasons why it is bad lies with Morrissey himself. I've said before that the Smiths did songs about people like Morrissey (of which there are a surprising amount), and Morrissey just seems to do songs about Morrissey, which reduces the target audience somewhat.
And this song takes that approach a stage further, in that it seems to be a song by Morrissey, in which he tackles a well-worn charicature of himself - Morrissey The Perpetually Love-Starved Aesthete - and tells it off for moaning when there are worse things in life, actually, than "never being someone's sweetie".
An example he gives is someone who has broken his spine in a car crash. Now, I've some experience of a situation like this, and I'm here to tell you, there's really no comparison. I don't know that I could honestly say that a lifetime of solitude in a healthy body is better than being physically restricted and yet loved. The two situations are chalk and cheese.
Fair enough, the spine-breaking thing is typical of the sort of thing a lot of people would say to pull themselves together, if they realised that they're just obsessing about not having had a snog in a while, but still, it's a clumsy point to make, it's half-hearted, and above all it's the kind of fortune cookie life lesson you'd expect to get from Fred Durst, not a gifted lyricist like Morrissey.
But there again, maybe that's the point. You can't constantly expect someone to dazzle you with their wit and insight, every single time they open their mouth. Sooner or later they are going to fail to meet these astonishingly high standards and then you'll be cross. And criticising Morrissey for being unable to stop banging on about Morrissey is like complaining about the green-ness of grass. That's just what he does.
So, while this is by no means a good song, it doesn't mean Morrissey is a worthless songwriter, and he does get points for still hammering away at it, despite overwhelming nonsense from people who can't let his illustrious past go. Maybe THAT'S how people grow up...
Download: Out now
CD Released: February 4th
(Fraser McAlpine)
Comments
Morrissey manages to venture on sold out tours and have the admiration of thousands of loyal fans... Radio 1 won't play him because he is "too old" (Madonna is older). Don't suppose we'll ever find out if I am correct but I reckon if he got any airplay he would be selling as many records and breaking more along the way than anyone in the charts at the moment.
[Not if they sound like this one he wouldn't. - Fraser]
It's one of his more poppy efforts and doesn't appeal to me as much as his less compromising solo work, but it's a strong single. You criticise Moz for focussing on himself too much, yet he does so in an ironic and knowing manner.
"I was wasting my life
Always thinking about myself
Someone on the deathbed said
There are other sorrows too"
Yes, the single is Morrissey talking about Morrissey. But these self-referencing lyrics are sung alongside an admittance of self-obsession. It's ironic and it's great!
Morrissey - you either get him or you don't. The reviewer doesn't and Radio 1 never have. However, I do and this is another slice of majestic Moz and it rocks.
[Haha! Wow, literally NONE of what you just said is true. Specially not the bit about loving ALL Morrissey songs or NONE of them. What's the point of having your own powers of musical judgement if you're not prepared to use them, even on your heroes? - Fraser]
Your comment about the Smiths vs. Morrissey was absolutely spot on! Thank you for putting my thoughts into words :)
this was played on radio one last sunday, which was very unfortunate for all who were listening at that moment in time.
[Not a fan then, Jen? - Fraser]
After listening to this song a few times I wanted to see if anything thought the same about it as I did. This review sums it up for me. To me it's just Morrissey by numbers. And to say you either get Morrissey or you don't is untrue. This song just sounds like what you would get if you got some people to write lyrics like Morrissey.
Clearly there is a whole misunderstanding going on here. Live a week of my life and That's How People Grow Up will be your anthem. Yes, the music is bland. But when was it ever good?
I really like it. Musically, it's really odd to listen to after listening to the Smiths, but change isn't all bad! The lyrics are all about him, but they always seem to be these days. They always kind of were. At least this time, he's kind of saying "This is what I thought, then I realised I was being an idiot." so it's quite heartening that he can admit defeat.
Each to their own! x