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So, seeing as everyone else is looking back and generally attempting to assess The State Of Things (and no, not just Reverend & The Makers), let's have a quick look over the 2007 curriculum and see which artists have been getting A-grades, and which are the dunces (and no, not just Reverend & the Ma...kidding!).

English

Top Of The Class: Estelle, who won a school prize for her line "wrap it up 'cos I ain't carrying your embryo" in the song 'Wait A Minute'.
In The Quiet Corner: Shayne Ward, for the rubbish "If we had babies they would have your eyes. I would fall deeper watching you give life". He's just lucky corporal punishment has been banned, frankly.
Also, Timbaland, who was excluded for 2 weeks after 'The Way I Are' came to the attention of the English dept.

Mathematics

Top Of The Class: The Proclaimers. 500 miles and 500 miles is? That's right, a thousand miles!
In The Quiet Corner: JoJo, whose overdue homework was riddled with wrong answers. 2+2=3? 4+5=8? 'Too Little, Too Late' indeed.

Engineering

Top Of The Class: Kate Nash, who knows that when you're bulding something massive, you should always start at the 'Foundations' and work up. And she uses mouthwash, which is good oral hygiene.
In The Quiet Corner: U2. OK, boys, which of you came up with the blueprint for this 'Window In The Skies'? Was it you Adam? It was, wasn't it... OK, write out 100 times "I must not let my dreams influence my homework". Edge, Junior, No, you too!

Geography

Top Of The Class: Alex Gaudino. Not only did Alex's sparkling presentation about the great lost kingdom of Calabria feature very thorough research, he also had time on his field trip to stop and examine the local Crystal Waters. A very interesting geological feature. (A*)
In The Quiet Corner: The group project from the boys calling themselves The Good The Bad And The Queen was a little bleak. Calling the subject of your report 'Kingdom Of Doom' is just overdramatising things, and not remotely scientific. Same goes for Mr LCD Soundsystem and his essay on the population of the United States. 'North American Scum' is just provocative, silly nonsense.

Health and Social Care

Top Of The Class: Exemplary work by the Fray here, and their musical manual on 'How To Save A Life'. It may have lacked certain key details, such as mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and the recovery position. But let's face it, you can't hum CPR technique, can you?
Also commended: McFly, for highlighting the problems faced by mothers when their newborn child can't hold their milk down. 'Baby's Coming Back' is that rarest of beasts, a medical case study with harmonies.
In The Quiet Corner: Oh Fergie, where did you get this rubbish from? 'Big Girls Don't Cry'? They really do, you know. And it's perfectly natural. You must learn to think before putting pen to paper in future.

History

Top Of The Class: Fall Out Boy score very highly for describing the tensions between America and Russia during the cold war, in pinpoint accuracy. 'This Ain't A Scene It's An Arms Race', made up in detail and passion what it lacked in proper grammar. Plus that Wentz boy is OMG SO BUFF, LOL!
In The Quiet Corner: Blunt, J's essay on '1973' put him in a club with a girl during this tumultuous time, which is fine, except he wasn't old enough to go clubbing at the time, so while he scored points for re-imagining the era, he loses them straight away, just for lying. Also, Take That may have been very keen to explain the rise and fall of many of history's biggest dictators in 'Rule The World', but comparing Idi Amin and Stalin to Robbie Williams was felt to be un-academic in the extreme.

Physical Education

Top Of The Class: Enrique Iglesias. Not many pupils can use music as a way to train themselves in their chosen sport. But then, Iglesias, E is not like other pupils. 'Do You Know (The Ping Pong Song)' saw him win championship after championship, and inspired countless imitators to try a little ping pong sing song.
In The Quiet Corner: Ditto, B, with her cohorts the Sugababes and Girls Aloud, are solely responsible for the breakdown in female PE standards this term. Not only were the Sugababes and Girls Aloud girls refusing to do any track events, preferring to 'Walk This Way', but Ditto encouraged people to stand in the way of poor Connie Troll, who was just about to beat the house record for the 400 metres. It's wicked, I tell you, wicked!

Psychology

Top Of The Class: Robbie Williams' work with the Pet Shop Boys in highlighting the problems faced by a young lady with mental illness, 'She's Mad Donna' was truly ground-breaking.
In The Quiet Corner: Lee Mead, whose research into the psychological effects of sleep, 'Any Dream Will Do', was sloppy, and under-researched.

Science

Top Of The Class: Justin Timberlake's work has been excellent this year, particularly in the field of physics. His joint paper with Tanya Stephens, entitled 'What Goes Around Comes Around' was quite the best of it's type this school has seen in years. He even beat Maximo Park's stellar work on sprinting speeds 'Our Velocity', and that was considered the best thing that this year group seemed likely to produce.
In The Quiet Corner: Minogue, K's exploratory biology work may have stopped short of doing any actual dissection, if '2 Hearts' is anything to go by. A brief look at her diagrams revealed that one of those hearts is actually a liver.

OVERALL MARK: B+

The Headmaster's Closing Comments:
At this time of year especially, it's important to realise that if Joseph (of Nazareth) could understand and forgive the unique circumstances surrounding his wife's firstborn child, maybe we could all be a little bit nicer to that Jamie-Lynn Spears. It's very easy to judge other people's flaws, and much harder to shut the hell up and get on with our own lives. But, as Chris Martin himself has said "nobody said it was going to be easy", and he's a man who knows a thing or two about making things fair.