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We have all been in a situation where we don’t know what to say, or how best to support a friend during a major negative life event. When Laura Smyth was diagnosed with breast cancer she was blown away (and highly amused) at how poorly many around her responded to the news. From pulling the wrong face, to offering medical advice sourced on YouTube, to simply panicking and saying nothing at all… we have a tendency to put our foot in it.

In this half-hour special, Laura asks why it is so difficult to say the right thing when trying to support loved ones, explores the sometimes unrealistic expectations that grievers put upon others, and speaks to psychotherapist Philippa Perry to get an expert opinion.

There may not be a perfect solution or ideal response, but can we all be better at knowing what to say?

Written and performed by Laura Smyth
Produced by Sasha Bobak
Executive Producer: Pete Strauss
Production Coordinator: Katie Baum
An EcoAudio certified production

It is a Â鶹Éç Studios production for Radio 4

This programme was first broadcast in 2023