麻豆社

In 2007 Femi developed Achalasia, a rare disorder of the gullet that prevents food getting into the stomach and which went undiagnosed for many years.

At her lowest point, under seven stone, experiencing heart attack-like chest spasms, Femi almost surrendered to the condition.

Since the age of seven Femi had written - but with fear and reservation. Now she took fresh resolve, making a pledge to herself to live long enough to write with confidence and honesty. She explored not only her illness, but her identity, beliefs, even her reasons for living.

She also reappraised the relationships in her life - most notably with her mother, who features in the programme in conversation with Femi. Together, they revisit those times when Femi鈥檚 anger led her mother to ask her to leave the family home.

Producer: Adam Fowler

A PRA production for 麻豆社 Radio 4, first broadcast in June 2015.