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Spies in Dairy

By Alexander M

Spies in Dairy by Alexander M

Read by Roger Ringrose from the 麻豆社 Radio Drama Company.

My name is Alex Picton, I'm quite a quiet boy and I'm very shy but I'm here to tell you about my other life, my dangerous life, my life as a spy.

I live in the town of Dairy it's a peaceful town in North Yorkshire. It's not very big and we have our own little tight knit community, but it's all a charade, a ruse if you like. It's what you don't see that matters. In Dairy there are two lead organisations the SSFOS (secret society for over seventies) and TUFSA (the under fourteens spy association) that's the group I'm in.

Don't get me wrong, life being a spy is great but there is just one problem. We're at war, yes that's right SSFOS and TUFSA are at war the most serious war of all A SPELLING BEE. Look I know that might sound pathetic but trust me it is a big deal in the spy industry. Every year the town of Dairy does this, it's tradition. However, in this tradition every year, someone, one side or the other cheats.

Two years ago, the SSFOS provided the cakes. They were Victoria sponges. (It would have been better if it was chocolate cake but that's beside the point, anyway, back to the story). So, these cakes (that weren't chocolate) were laced with a powerful drug that made the TUFSA contestants mix up their letters and spell things backwards.

he following year, all the TUFSA competitors, all wore the same glasses. Steel rimed, just like Harry Potter, but when you looked carefully, the lenses were tiny computer screens, across which the word scrolled very slowly giving you time to read.

This year was different to any other, because each group was only allowed to pick one member to represent them and TUFSA for some reason picked me.

Today was the day, the day when I went up against my opponent, Joan Smith. Joan was the village crossword champion and rumour has it she's even mastered sudoku. She is a black belt in Scrabble and known as the 'silent assassin of Cluedo'. Without doubt the toughest opponent that SSFOS could give me.

The game was afoot. I went first 'Especially' - E-S-P-E-C-I-A-L-L-Y, Correct! One-Nil TUFSA. Now it was Joan's turn. The word was nicotine she got it right. It was now one all. Loads of rounds past. We had words like pharmaceutical, metaphor, inconsistent and so many more. It finally got down to the final round. It was all tied at 19 all, whoever won this would take home the trophy. It all comes down to this, the word was arachnophobia. Joan went first A-R-A-C-H-N-A-P-H-O-B-A, "that is incorrect" shouted the commentator. It was now my turn. I start spelling A-R-A-C-H-N-O-P-H-O-B-I-A "correct" comes a reply from the commentator. I did it I cheer, I won. I turned to Joan and whispered "thanks Gran". Joan just smiled, once in TUFSA, always in TUFSA. Who are the best spies now then?

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