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Medellin with nature

Another way to get high in Colombia

If the Choos fit, wear them.

High-rise flats

Colombia - where stilettos are a blunt instrument

So, Darling, you're late because you got your heels caught in a grating, eh?

Look, Sarge, they're still smuggling drugs out, but we don't know how ...

You'd better count me out, Darling - my vertigo's getting worse

With these we'll stand out in a crowd so Prince Harry will notice Us

Will the platform standing at level 4, please step back as there's a train approaching.

And, at the push of a button, hey presto! - motorised roller-skates!

Well, there's nothing specifically in the IOC rules for the high-jump, but ...

As worn by Colombian low-life ...

As existing defences fail, alternative solutions are delivered by the National Flood Agency...

Olympic authorities meet to discuss high jump cheating allegations.

Best foot upward.

Ronnie Corbett tries to slip into Colombia unnoticed by the paparazzi

Yes, my other job is as a deep-sea diver. How did you guess?

Columbia is the first country to unveil Genetically Modified Insects

I don't mind the painful feet - I hate bumping my head on low door-frames

Stilettos are so yesterday, darling.

Sponsored by Tom Cruise

Hey! Isn't that Tom Cruise over there? No, my mistake ...

These boots weren 't made for dancing

No, I said we'd have to HIRE shoes

Funny, Sarah Jessica Parker did not want a pair, actually.

This is what happens when you tread in brown and black chewing-gum

Didn't anybody realise that Jimmy Choo was only joking?

Having failed to meet minimum 6Ft height requirements for security personnel, G4S provide a ready made alternative.

The Spice Girls secure Showaddywaddy back-up for the Olympic Closing ceremony, in case Posh changes her mind again

Welcome to hell. First up, a few flights of stairs.

Models' union accepts a 5% increase in wedges.

Are you SURE we'll see over the crowd, Mum?

Sensible if you're a Munster.

"These are my shoes for Glastonbury. They don't sink into the mud as much as my stilletos."

These boots weren't made for dancing

(correction)

It's funny - the last time I had a wedgie it didn't give me a pain in the foot

Beware of cliques wearing lifts.

The Prince didn't care if it HAD been a glass slipper before the stroke of midnight.
He wasn't carrying THAT around for anyone.

And you should see the size of my socks!

They're known as the Harry Potter platforms - size 9 3/4

Richard Hammond turned away in a huff. Why did he always get the blue pair?

Socks with sandals?! Are you mad?

But big 'eels are no good for dancing the Conger

After the introduction of the contraversial new Olympic traffic lanes, even Colombia is showing signs of being clogged-up.

What the fashionista wear ... when there are snakes around

Part of the Government's Stamp Out Drugs campaign

Yes, *now* I can see the Torch..

What's on? That '70s Shoe.

Special shoes are developed for those who suffer from a weak bladder

The punishment from the fashion police was severe.

I couldn't remember whether it was vertigo or acrophobia, so I just bought the shoes

Why yes, daahhling, your new outfit suits you down to the ground. Well, nearly....

Auditioners line up for the new Channel 5 show, Extreme Corns.

Well, my new boyfriend said he liked camel toes on girls....

How G4S managed to get what security staff they had around the ‘minimum height’ requirement..

And you must see the matching handbag to believe it.

Si, sales have shot up since they opened that nudist camp the other side of that fence

Yeah, they look great on you, but I'm not so sure about your horse ...

What are they like for walking in? Walking! You have got to be joking ...

"See, there are worse things than ankle bracelets," chirped the matron.

Hear that noise? I reckon that that'll be Juan bringing his favourite donkey round to see us ...

Olympic officials regret asking Vivienne Westwood to design the winners podium.

"Well Gary the Â鶹Éç told us we'd be able to see the events reporting from a raised platform. I guess the shoe fits..."

Health and Safety warning number 327, beware broken ankles.

How to see the Olympic Torch over the crowds.

Monsieur Sarkosy was delighted with this new men's fashion...until he saw the ladies

"You're in the t'ree zone so you're Going for Gold"

Q. What are you?

A. Don't know.....I'm six feet something.

Katie Holmes takes revenge after the separation by selling their huge collection of footwear at a local car boot sale

Why women's football will never be as popular as men's football

My soles are higher than this person's, but not as high as those: this means that this person is upper class, I am middle class and the one with highest heels is a chav.

The platforms are hollow,insulated with a latcheable access panel and are extremely useful for toting one's lunch,cold drinks,ham sandwiches etc.

Shoes that fit like a glove - a Boxing Glove!

It was a good way to acclimatize, but every time he took them off, Tom Daley had the urge to make several forward rolls

To even things out, Usain Bolt was issued with special running shoes.

Rising damp was getting to be a big problem at Stringfellow's

North Korean women's team walks off in protest as video mistakes them for Seouls

Orthopaedic Disco

New cocaine-smuggling shoes - drugs mules

Sergei Bubka reveals his trade secrets.

Those guys from Brokeback Mountain decided they wanted shoes of the same capacity as their ten-gallon hats

And just in case the torch-bearer tomorrow is a bit vertically challenged and can't....quite...reach...

And the great thing is - there's enough space for all the bandages and ointment you'll need fitted inside the heels!

If Cruft's put on a fashion show: "Heel!"

But why didn't you tell me first that I had to cycle to the fashion show?

You might have bought them from H&M, but you'll be going straight into A&E

Shoes by A Shoe Designer, Ankle Socks and Tights from a High Street Department Store, Insect Bites model's own.

Feetbook was confident of having twice the number of members than Facebook.

Hey, has anyone seen a five-foot-tall kid trying to get on a plane for Rome? Nah, everyone here's too tall.

How to get around Ryanair's luggage surcharges - the shoe with a boot

Not only are the shoes expensive, but they cost a fortune in Cherry Blossom

Collective noun: A clump of models.

And these are my aunts from Colombia - where the shoe fetishists come from

The designer was led away by the fashion police he shook his fist and yelled “Why, if it wasn’t for you Medellin kids I’d have got away with it...�

Perhaps getting Jimmy Choo on board as an Olympic sponsor was not such a good idea ...

Shoes with a built-in Slinky make stairs so much easier - you just glide down them

They're comfy, light and they come with a crash helmet for those awkward doorways.

"And then we all say: 'No, honestly, Usain, these are the new regulation running shoes..."

Why Mr Richards what made us suspect you had a bomb in your shoes. It just stacked up!