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Get your tickets from the Cone Arranger.

Coneheads - the sequel

Is it me or can you smell Great Dane?

I only asked him for a 99

Lunatic Fringe

Him? Oh, he’s from Birmingham.

Bloody students....

Harry had felt every bump on the motorway from Birmingham

The Klu Klux Klan had had to come in disguise

Warning: Hedgehogs ahead and they're still not sharing the hedge.

....and I thought the contract was just spelt wrong - "must be cone-spicuous"

The police's new robot traffic cone could even hand out parking tickets

The KKK's 2010 outfit had been redesigned by Jean-Paul Gaultier

Derek enjoyed being a plain-clothes policeman at the Fringe

And we will consume cooked chicken embryos for the morning meal

It was the only way the Duke could walk around his city without being pestered by tourists

If these shorts were any tighter everyone could see the fringe for free.

They wanted me to wear a fluorescent vest, but I won out in the end

Ladies Day at Ascot was about to get interesting......

It's a sobriety test actually

Belinda couldn't understand why lorries kept running her over

Come and see our show - it's "A Load of Old Bollards"...

"I heard the midges are bad in Scotland"

Yes, and in France, this would be illegal

Is this what is known as a Dutch Helmet?

Becky's first zit of the year and it had to be when the Fringe was on

Bavarian beer strikes again

"Just 1 Cone 'eaddo, give it to me"

If they ever ban burqas, this is the best alternative we could come up with

Yes, I know I need a pedicure...

It helps with keeping a parking spot open

No, I said to wear something COMICAL

No, we're the SKK, the Stripey Klux Klan

"But Mum, I am smiling...."

It's the only way I could get a signal

Benefit fraud, claimants go to any lengths to avoid detection.

And at Christmas time, I add a star.

If you'd freed the Lockerbie bomber, you'd have to walk around incognito too

What makes you think I'm embarrassed about handing out social disease flyers?

Lavinia wished she hadn't argued with the ice-cream salesman now

Actually, dogs like me a bit too much.

That's the last time I ask my doctor if he could give me something for a boil on the head

John gave this to his wife put this on so she stood cone and shoulders above everyone else

"I have to wear it for writing "SHCOOL" in the middle of the road."

Burkas can be fun!

Want to buy a blood diamond?

Oh no....I've been Tango'd

I'm protesting the end of the comic strip Cathy

"Anybody know the hotline number?"

Hat hair?! You've not had a bad hair day until you've had cone hair.

"Here today Cone Tomorrow."

Despite cutbacks in the Dr Who budget, filming for the new series has commenced in Edinburgh.

Top Gear ?

I' m not sure if everyone is avoiding me or if I am just going the wrong way

The scarlet A was a doddle.

It was worth going to the theatre just to see Daphne's afro when she took the cone off

You mean I've got rid of my hoodie and I'm still banned from the shopping mall?

Not only was Shirley the stupidest in class, but she also had the smallest head

Hair loss? Try a "cone-over".

Hennin burgh

Will I wear a conical hat? Mitre swell.

Spitzhut just wasn't proving as popular as Pizza Hut

Completely disguised, the witches of Edinburgh weren't risking another Salem

What d'you mean the colours clash?

Madonna was looking everywhere for her old bra

Even in disguise, Bin Ladin wondered why everyone still gave him hateful looks.

The Scottish Parliament decided to cure unemployment at a stroke and also do something about the massive roadworks around Edinburgh.

The new "Crowd-Parter 3000": GUARANTEED to get everyone to clear right out of your way, or your money back!

This is what they mean about the saying nice legs shame about the face

Lady Gaga takes time out.

Work begins here 13th August 2010

As an ornithologist at Edinburgh Zoo, Sheila felt her request for toucans may have been misinterpreted

Traffic calming had obviously went to her head.

Gloria (rear background) wore her cones differently

Gloria (to right of picture) wore her cones differently





(correction)

KEEP CLEAR of black heads

Where's the point of this?

If it's such a good show, how come you're ashamed to be associated with it?

Police introduce new penalties for sitting in the middle lane when the first lane’s free.

Did you text me wear something comical or conical, cos i aint half getting some funny looks!

Maria convulses with embarassment when she realises she left the price tag clearly visible on the back.

Actually I'm auditioning for the part of Oblio in "The Point".

Madonna: a modern re-interpretation.

It`s to late now,you should have read the small print on your CONE-tract.

the newly rebranded Ku Klux Cones failed to attract any new membership

Busking with a vuvuzela hadn't been well received.

Netherlands fan still hiding her face after World Cup loss.

Getting into this poloneck sweater was proving rather difficult.

Annafreid skulks off and promises to herself she will never get into an argument with a road workman again.

Ornithologists recently spotted a rare sight in Edinburgh, the female of a breeding pair of the lesser spotted traffic conius.

They said to use a megaphone to attract attention...

Urgent maintenance underway

She might have handed out more flyers if people didn't keep trying to post them back to her through the eyehole.

You've been Tang-Coned!

"We were still serving the breakfast menu, she wanted nuggets..."

Somebobies tickled her funny cone

Human Traffic the sequel: this time its contraflow.

Amanda found it difficult to raise awareness about people with traffic cones tragically stuck to their heads, possibly because she appeared to be the only one affected by the disorder.

"I can't hear the sea...they lied to me.."

I did this hoping for a Perrier, now I just desperately need a drink.