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Hey you! How's things? Really? Oh dear. Well, there's no point worrying. I'm sure it'll dry up and drop off eventually. But listen, forgive me for changing the subject, but...

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On last Saturday's show we innovated a brand new type of Black Squadron command: the Photo Challenge. We asked our trusty, battle-scarred early morning live listeners to take a photo on a theme and send it to us as quickly as possible. The theme was "POLTERGEIST ATTACK!" and the Squadron responded with extraordinary speed and creativity.

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Below, we present a selection of these photos for your viewing pleasure. Remember, these pictures are not winners in any way.

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Because this was NOT a competition. As you well know, competitions are disgraceful and a dangerous, subversive threat to the integrity of the Big British Castle. This is merely a representative sample (of the best ones). Anyone who calls this a competition or behaves in a competitive way will be snatched from the street and rushed to the Castle dungeons in a potato sack where they will be tortured by Vernon Kaye until they learn better.

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Enjoy!

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Visit the Poltergeist gallery

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When the call came you were ready. Standing proud, side to side with your fellow Squadron members. With a pan on your head. We salute your efforts, consider yourselves promoted to Elite Squadron.

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Visit the Pan Hat gallery

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How would you like to perform at the Electric Proms with Adam and Joe? We're looking for individuals (or couples or families) to join A&J on stage and sing along to a Song Wars classic. Sound great doesn't it?! Here's what you need to do to enter...

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1) Pick either Adam's Nutty Room or Joe's Sontum Of Quolace and download the special karaoke version below:

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To download, right click on the links and choose 'Save Target As'.

(If you're using a Mac it's Ctrl+click)

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2) Have a look at the lyrics for the song you've chosen.

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3) Make a video of yourself performing the song and upload it to a video sharing site (like , or ).

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4) Send us the link via our entry form by the closing date of 1600 on Wednesday 14 October 2009.

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You don't have to be a wizard with a camera - we're just looking for fun performances of these songs. You can feel free to use props, backdrops, friends or anything else that takes your fancy. Adam, Joe and I will judge the entries and a winner for each song will perform with Adam & Joe at the Electric Proms in London on 22nd October. So what are you waiting for? Get singing! Oh, and if you choose Adam's song you may notice there's some bleeped-out profanity in it. Feel free to put any word you like in its place, but no swears please! And make sure you have a read of the terms and conditions.

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To help you on your way...

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For those who haven't seen it yet, here's Adam's video for his song Ratatouille, inspired by the modern animation classic about a rodent chef...

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You can read about Dr Buckles' creative inspiration over at the Â鶹Éç Comedy Blog...

We asked for your help in putting together the A&J Cinema Manifesto - a list of improvements whilst watching films that cinema chains MUST take notice of. Have a listen, see if you agree and please feel free to add further suggestions in the comments section below.

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Here are some of your suggestions so far:

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Cinemas should have headphone sockets in the seats. (Gary Chamberlain)

When the film is on, the cinema should be engulfed in utter darkness. The only light in the room should be from the projector. (Tom in Loughborough)

All popcorn should be crushed and chewed so that when eaten, it does not disrupt the film. (Paul from Maidenhead) Sexy people should feed it to you. (Adam & Joe)

People must clap and cheer when the film certificate is shown at the beginning of a film to show their excitement. (Anon, possibly a cinema manager...)

Check out this wonderful creation from Slack Squadron member Janine Shroff. Her talents as an llustrator and web designer are apparent in this handy guide to Adam and Joe's 6 Music show.

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Download the idiothole guide (PDF - 1.21 MB)

You may have heard Adam's song from the show on 29th August, composed after a long summer break. If you haven't heard it already, we hope you like it, it's yours to download and keep!

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To download, right click on the link and choose 'Save Target As'.

(If you're using a Mac it's Ctrl+click)

We don't ask for much on the Adam and Joe show. Just an audience with one of the most famous and influential pop stars of all time. Well, how much do you love Mr. Bowie you may ask? This much. Thanks to the Eggman for putting together this one stop guide to our obsession. DAVID! CALL US!!!

Mmmmmmmmassage. Just saying it's relaxing. Go on, say it. Don't you feel a tiny bit more relaxed? Massage is officially the second most fun thing one human can do to another for free. So why not treat your partner or a lucky friend to an A&J sensual massage tonight? Here's how to do it. Dim your bedroom lights and prepare your bed with fresh towels, petals and scented candles. Buy a bottle of aromatic massage oils, or if you're on a budget or pushed for time, simply churn some aftershave into a tub of marge. Now, all you need is the right music. And that's where we come in. Download the file below, loop it, then play it at medium volume. It's one of the most relaxing pieces of music ever recorded, featuring sacred ancient Amazonian chants. You are now ready to begin sensually massaging. Go for it!

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To download, right click on the link and choose 'Save Target As'.

(If you're using a Mac it's Ctrl+click)

Dear Bloglodytes,

First of all, thanks for all the messages we received for our first show back after the summer. Much appreciated as usual.

Second of all, apparently there's currently someone pretending to be me on Twitter. Just to be clear I am not part of any social networking sites. The only posting I do online is for this blog and on my own and apart from the odd thing for the Â鶹Éç comedy site, that's it so please don't give anyone else claiming to be me a look, unless they're doing a better job of being me than I am, which so far has not been the case in my humble opinion.

Thirdly and as promised, here is the video of the brief chat I had at Latitude with Thom Yorke about new stage names he might like to use. The person you can hear talking off camera is Radiohead producer Nigel Godrich who was filming. You have to listen quite hard but he reveals that 'Mr T' is what he calls Thom in the studio, though Thom points out that that's "On your good days". I very much hope that from now on 'T.Homme' will be the standard form of address for Thom in the studio.

Love Dr 'Real' Buckles

Warning: video not suitable for the faint-hearted!