�鶹��

Home > Stories from Real Parents > Pregnancy > Being a new parent

As well as spending many years as a fashion writer, Suzie Bakos runs her own Iraqi supper club, sells her signature hot sauce and creates food-focused social media content.

She and her partner Daniel Sylvester Woolford, aka People Just Do Nothing's Decoy, got married last year and she gave birth to daughter Amira in June this year,

Throughout her pregnancy, Suzie documented her journey on her social media channels - showing a lighter, fun and more positive side to pregnancy. This includes listing her favourite things about being pregnant, sharing her amazing pregnancy outfits and intense McDonald's cravings.

Tiny Happy People caught up with her, one week before her due date, to find out why sharing her positive pregnancy journey was so important to her.

How has your pregnancy journey been so far?

I've had a super positive pregnancy so far and I feel really lucky.

The first trimester for me was the toughest, because you wait so long to find out if there's even a baby in there, which was just crazy. So that really dragged for me.

I think my worst symptom at the beginning was fatigue - I'd never experienced tiredness like it, and I was just so drained constantly. You would have just woken up, and you'd want a nap. It was mad!

And then I'd say the second trimester was really positive, and I felt more like myself. I was really active and out and about.

Now I’m in the third trimester, I'm getting quite a few uncomfortable symptoms. So I'm getting really severe cramps and sleeping is really difficult for me now, because I'm big.

But that has been quite a recent thing. Overall, though, I feel mentally I've had a really positive pregnancy.

Has anything surprised you during your pregnancy?

Swelling! I've been swelling a lot recently and I cannot get my rings off now. I'm so annoyed that no one told me this sooner, because I really can't get them off.

I also thought I'd be really lonely, because lots of people say they feel like that. I have sometimes felt in social situations, especially when people are drinking and you are sober, really different from other people. And that's when you feel like, “Oh wow! I am really pregnant.”

You can feel like you’re on the outskirts, observing everyone else, watching this social interaction. And that is really bizarre. But that loneliness hasn’t been as difficult as I thought it would be.

I’ve found that people are generally negative when talking about pregnancy.

Especially online, people are more inclined to share their negative experiences.

So when you're having a positive experience, I would stop myself from posting about it. I felt like I didn’t want to trigger anyone who’d been having a difficult time. I also didn’t want to feel like I was showing off, which is sad, really.

You can feel a bit silenced when sharing your experiences sometimes, because you know that people find it really hard, but you also want to be the person that others can relate to that had a similar experience.

What tips do you have for others to help them stay positive during their pregnancy?

It’s really difficult for me to give advice on staying positive, because everyone’s pregnancy experience is different and unique. I've had a positive experience, but I know it's really difficult for others.

But I would say, the one thing is to remember it's temporary. However hard it is, whatever the thing is, it's going to pass and eventually you'll have your baby.

I know that when I look back in a few weeks, months, years, I'll forget all the really challenging moments. Your brain tends to do that, doesn't it? You tell yourself it wasn't that bad, right? So remembering it’s a temporary thing has been so great for me.

Don't feel like you can't reach out to people.

I think that would be my best advice if someone is struggling. Other people, especially people who’ve had babies, are so helpful.

It feels like there's nothing you could tell them that they haven't felt or been through (or experienced something similar). So I think it’s so incredibly valuable to reach out to people and share the struggle. This is because people always want to help you if you're struggling.

I'm doing hypnobirthing, which has also really helped me stay positive. Hypnobirthing is all about positivity.

One of the things I’ve learned is that if you meet anyone who’s had a baby and who wants to talk about their birth, you need to say to them, “I'm so sorry but if it's a traumatic or negative story, can we talk about it after I've had the baby?”

I don't want to silence anyone and I know people would like to share their experiences. However, in order to prepare for my own birth and give me the most positive mindset possible, I can’t listen to stories like that right now. Someone telling me about their traumatic experience will only feed into my own negativity and anxiety.

For me, I only want a positive mindset walking into that birthing room.

Tell me a bit more about hypnobirthing

The whole thing is about having a positive mindset around birth. Obviously we all know that things don't always go according to plan. However, with hypnobirthing it’s more about changing the narrative of how women approach birth.

Whenever people think about birth, they think about screaming women on their back. It's not a nice experience, but it doesn't have to be that way.

So even if my birth plan doesn't go according to plan, having the whole build-up of not feeling anxious about having the baby has been amazing.

It's taught me and my partner, Daniel, a lot about babies in general. And I think it's really helped him, because he didn't know a lot about labour. Women are more exposed to it, right? And we talk to our friends about it, whereas it’s not something that my partner had chatted about much before I got pregnant. I think it was a very helpful thing for him to do, to understand more, because partners are such an integral part of the birth.

I know many partners feel like a loose or spare part. So it really involves them and gives them the tools to support their partner. I think this is another thing that has kept me really positive during my pregnancy.

What are you most looking forward to about being a mum?

It’s so strange to think ahead to that. But I think I’m just really looking forward to the fun things, like experiencing all the firsts with her.

We were also saying the other day, it’ll be so fun when you get to watch all the films you loved watching when you were younger - that’ll be really cute.

But on a deeper level - I grew up in a really strict household, so there's so much I missed out on as a kid. I always felt like I couldn't tell my parents things, like when I was in trouble or something was happening. There was a bit of fear there, because they were so strict.

So I'm looking forward to being a parent my kids can talk to about anything. I think that's really important, because I don't believe you should be scared of your parents. So I would say that was the thing that I was looking forward to the most.

Follow Suzie's parenting journey on Instagram & TikTok -

Visit Tiny Happy People's pregnancy collection for loads more advice, stories and activities to get you through your pregnancy.

In case you missed it