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The Tamsinbint
by Rural Dean
Rural Dean begs apologies from Lewis Carroll but need not apologise to readers of the topic of the for this excellent parody.
'Twas brillig, and the slithy pigs
Did gyre and gimble in their sty:
All flimsy were the broken rigs,
And tepid was the shepherd's pie.
"Beware the Tamsinbint, my son!
The legs that lure, the nails that scratch!
Beware the second glass of wine, and shun
Her offer of a sparring match!"
He took his mobile phone in hand:
Longtime the lissom foe he sought.
So rested he by River Am,
And stood a while in thought.
And, as he stood and racked his brain,
The Tamsinbint, on six-inch heels,
Came clacking down the winding lane,
And told him "No more sausage deals!"
One, two! One, two! And back and forth
The cricket bat went snicker-snack!
He left her dead, and with her head
He went gallumphing back.
"And has thou slain the Tamsinbint?
Come to my arms, my Archer boy!
O let us take a photographic print!"
Kirsty chortled in her joy.
'Twas brillig, and the slithy pigs
Did gyre and gimble in their sty:
All flimsy were the broken rigs,
And tepid was the shepherd's pie.
More parodies - from Agatha Christie to Damon Runyon
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