The Witches of Ambridge
8 March 2002
"Little Dot" posted this eerie tale on the Fantasy Archers
topic of The Archers message board
It
was a stormy night. A gusting wind drove banks of cloud across a harvest
moon. In the kitchen at Home Farm three figures were seated around the
circular table. Five candles lit their faces with a flickering, ghostly
light.
'When shall we three meet again?'...
'Jennifer, will you stop that
rubbish. let's just get on with it,'...
'Sorry, where's the book?'...
'Caroline's got it. Read the next bit.'
'Okay,' Caroline skimmed the text of Witchcraft for Beginners. 'Where
on earth did you get this?'
'Felpersham library.' Jennifer said. As she spoke her fingers were shaping
a ball of wax into the shape of a man.
'Alright. First we need the effigy, we make an indentation in the area
of the heart, and into it we put seven strands of the target's hair and
a drop of our own blood.'
Caroline paused. 'Are you sure
we want to do this?'
'Of course we are,' Siobhan countered. 'we want to get rid of him don't
we?'
'Yes, but I don't want to hurt him, just drive him away.' Caroline frowned.
'Alright. We light the incense, and then each take the effigy in turn,
recite the words written here and stick in our pins - we've got three
each - while saying out loud what we want to happen to him. There's an
example here. Oh, and it says that "throughout the ritual it is vitally
important that the participants concentrate their intense hatred of the
target onto the effigy." Lovely.'
'I think we're ready,' Jennifer
placed the wax figure in the centre of the pentangle she'd chalked on
the table within the ring of candles. 'All I need is a drop of blood from
both of you.' To demonstrate she held out her own finger and pricked it
with one of the shiny new pins that lay on the table. Squeezing her pricked
finger gently she extracted a drop of deep-red blood and allowed it to
fall into the dip she'd made in the effigy's chest. She sucked her injured
finger. Caroline and Siobhan repeated her actions themselves, then Jennifer
stuffed in the hair she had taken from Brian's hairbrush that morning
and smoothed a little of the still warm wax over the hole.
'Who's going first?' she asked.
'I think that's a wife's prerogative,' Siobhan answered.
Caroline spoke:
'First we have to recite this. Shall we do it together?'
The other two agreed. Leaning in they read aloud from the book laying
open on the table:
'This image is Brian Aldridge, and aught that we do to it we do to him.'
Jennifer took the effigy from
the centre of the table and picked up a pin. A look of intense malice
passed across her face as she stared down at the figure. 'Brian Aldridge,'
she said, 'will leave this village and never return.' She plunged the
pin through the effigy's wax body. Twice more she repeated the process
before passing the effigy to Siobhan. The other two women followed Jennifer's
lead.
Just as Caroline was about to
insert her last pin they heard an almighty crash as Brian's 4x4 hit the
pear tree outside. Seconds later Brian burst through the door. His head
was gashed and bleeding freely, and he was half doubled over in pain.
'Girls,' he gasped his eyes gleaming madly, but his voice still dripping
with charm, 'Girls, what are you doing, can't we be adults about this?'
He advanced towards them and they backed away, terrified.
Caroline, who had grabbed the
figure from the table found herself with her back against the Aga. Quick
as a flash she twisted 'round, opened the Aga door, and flung the effigy
inside crying 'Brian Aldridge will leave this village and never return.'
She slammed the door and turned back into the room just in time to see
Brian fall to his knees on the authentic-yorkstone tiled floor. Or had
he fallen to his knees? If she didn't know better Caroline could have
sworn that he was melting! He couldn't be, but yes... within thirty seconds
Brian was shrunken to the size of a small worat.
'Girls,' he squeaked, 'girls,
please, please, giiiiirls...' The three women stared down at the tiles,
but Brian had vanished leaving nothing but a slight waxy patch on the
tiles.
'What do we do now?' Siobhan
asked feebly. 'Oh, I think I know,' Jennifer answered. She walked over
to the fridge. 'Find us three glasses please, Caroline,' she said as she
skilfully popped the champagne open.
In the village shop Betty stared
at the shop door. The bell was still jangling from Brian's sudden exit.
'Did you notice anything strange about Mr Aldridge?' she asked.
Jill shrugged. 'Can't say I did,
dear,' she answered.
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