麻豆社

Early in 2023, the sculptor Nicholas Dimbleby fell 鈥榝lat on his face鈥� on a pavement in central London. Soon afterwards he was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease: a progressive condition for which there is no known cure. Confronting the reality of this, Nicholas decided he wanted to share his thoughts and feelings about living with a terminal illness and asked his brother, Jonathan to record these, joking 鈥淚 shall have to be called Dwindleby now鈥�.

Over the following six months, the brothers sat and talked at Nicholas鈥檚 kitchen table in Devon. They recorded their conversations to the sound of a ticking clock and occasional interventions from the family kitten. Nicholas describes how he shared the news with the family; the strange feeling of knowing your 鈥榮ell by date鈥�; and yet the benefits of being able to say 鈥榞oodbye鈥� properly. He also speaks about his urge to have some control over the manner and timing of his own death, feeling himself to be almost a 鈥榞host person鈥�, semi-removed from the world.

The second episode starts in the High Dependency Unit at hospital, where Nicholas is recovering from his operation to have a feeding tube, or PEG fitted. Nicholas鈥檚 voice is affected in the same way as his other facial muscles, which means communicating is exhausting; it becomes increasingly hard to articulate his thoughts. Nevertheless, Nicholas tries to rely on his 鈥榖lithe spirit鈥� to keep living 鈥榠n the moment鈥� as much as possible, relishing time spent with family around the dinner table and sitting in his beautiful garden watching the house martins. He says he has 37 medicines to take and countless appointments with various clinicians. He relies on the power of metaphor, and he is sustained by hugs from those he loves as life becomes more challenging by the day.

This pair of programmes form an intimate and moving record of how one man grapples with what it is like to live with a fatal disease, to face that approaching terminus, to seek control over how he dies 鈥� while reflecting on how hopes to be remembered by those he will leave behind.

Presented by Nicholas and Jonathan Dimbleby, with thanks to the family.

Produced by Catherine Carr and Jo Rowntree

A Loftus Media production for 麻豆社 Radio 4

Details of help and support with MND are available at bbc.co.uk/actionline