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IN TOUCH 鈥� Richard Lane in Bergerac

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TX:听 17.04.2018听 2040-2100

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PRESENTER:听 听听听听听听听 PETER WHITE

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PRODUCER:听 听听听听听听听听听 CHERYL GABRIEL

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White

I first met Richard Lane 25 years ago, just after he lost his sight.听 Since then he鈥檚 appeared regularly on In Touch, he鈥檚 hosted a series on cooking without sight, he鈥檚 reviewed audio books, he鈥檚 charted the improvement in the accessibility of newspapers.听 So, what鈥檚 he doing now living in deepest rural Southwest France miles from most of the things many blind people think are essential to living in independently?听 And I do mean miles from anywhere.

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Well, it鈥檚 partly about trying to live the good life but is there more to it than that?听 I鈥檓 here to spend a day with Richard trying to find out.

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Lane

Just gathering the wood now but I鈥檒l light the fire later.听 Once I鈥檝e done this we鈥檒l just go in and get started with a coffee.

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And here鈥檚 your coffee Pete.

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White

Thanks Richard.听 That鈥檚 lovely.听 Simple question to start with I think:听 Why are you here?

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Lane

That鈥檚 a reasonable question to ask.听 Here in what they call La France profonde.

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White

Yes, but what are you doing here in this very quiet place, what made you come?

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Lane

Well, just the opportunity for Liz, my wife, Topper and myself to have a year out.听 But really the motivation from a personal point of view for me was bit of a symmetry thing going on with numbers, just past 50 years of age, it鈥檚 a quarter of a century, perhaps a touch more, since I lost my sight and to have time out 鈥� out of Farnham and out of London, where I work, to come to something completely different and you cannot get more different than rural France where it is so quiet and so different, to kind of reassess, recalibrate, maybe re-energise a bit possibly.听 And particularly as now my blind life is becoming the larger part of my existence, I鈥檝e now been blind longer just than I have been sighted, haven鈥檛 come here to France just to reflect on that but it鈥檚 something that one can reflect on, but also to get closer to nature, which is why we鈥檙e in rural France, to have to time to practise my violin and commit pieces to memory because as you get older, as we all know, it gets harder to memorise things and I have to learn my violin pieces by heart, from memory.听 So, I鈥檝e got time to do that.

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Music 鈥� violin playing

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White

But you did suggest to me that there were things about your blindness that you thought you hadn鈥檛 really quite got clear in your mind.

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Lane

Yeah, I mean, to be honest, I still don鈥檛 feel particularly good at being blind, if one has to be good at being blind or some days I don鈥檛 feel as though I鈥檝e got the hang of it.听 I mean mobility is a key thing and I鈥檝e had three wonderful guide dogs and Topper, who is with us now, is about to retire.听 But I鈥檓 going to go back and I鈥檓 not going to have a working guide dog for a good few months, so actually having the time and this rural idyll that we鈥檙e in gives me a chance to practise using my cane, to feel confident with mobility but to do it in a beautiful surrounding where there鈥檚 birdsong and there鈥檚 country noises and things, not in a busy town or heaven forbid practising my long cane technique at Waterloo Station 鈥� I wouldn鈥檛 get on very well.

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White

But you have talked already about work, about the fact that you 鈥� perhaps you would regard yourself as one of the lucky visually impaired people who has been in work but I think also the suggestion that the extent to which you鈥檝e worked and the intensity with which you鈥檝e worked has been something of a cover for you for not thinking about the extent to which you have had to adjust and maybe whether you鈥檝e adjusted enough.

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Lane

Yeah, I think that鈥檚 a reasonable point.听 I mean I think work, which as we all know, frankly, it鈥檚 appalling how few blind people work and that鈥檚 still terrible and I鈥檓 very conscious of the fact I鈥檓 very lucky in that I have always worked.听 And that鈥檚 great, of course.听 If I didn鈥檛 work, and this is one of the challenges I think possibly coming here for the year was to suddenly not have work, not have the kind of deadlines that I鈥檓 used to back at home, that has been different.听 And initially I found that a little bit tricky because I suddenly did find myself reflecting a little bit about well, how am I going to occupy my time and my thoughts and is the fact that I鈥檓 blind is that suddenly going to get me down, is my blindness going to suddenly creep out of me and suffocate or swallow me up a bit.听 It didn鈥檛 but it certainly has reinforced, in my mind, just how valuable work is, not as a cover up but just as a professional thing to do, to have your brain stimulated, curiosity, working with people, teamwork 鈥� all that stuff is really, really important.

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White

You suggested to me I think when we were talking about this programme that maybe for some blind people, maybe for you, work was a way of keeping those sort of demons away.

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Lane

Yeah and I think it has been sometimes because I still have days where I鈥檓 very unhappy about being blind鈥�

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White

Really?

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Lane

Absolutely.

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White

Even 25 years on?

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Lane

Absolutely.听 They are infrequent and I鈥檝e certainly had a couple of moments here, in France, in the past six months, and there鈥檚 no obvious cause, it鈥檚 just sometimes this almost visceral feeling of hopelessness because one is blind and possibly the rural setting almost sort of exaggerated the feeling of difficulty because the countryside is not an easy place to knock around when you can鈥檛 see, particularly if you鈥檙e not used to it.听 I鈥檝e been here a few months now and I feel much more positive about that.听 So, it鈥檚 been a bit of a voyage of discovery really.

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White

Unhappy about what aspects of being blind?

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Lane

However far in the past now my sight is I still have a very strong sense of what the world looks like, of what my family and some of my friends, obviously not friends I鈥檝e met recently, or Liz of course, whom I鈥檝e never seen, but I still have very strong visual reference points and they鈥檙e very helpful.听 But also, I still have from time to time a sense of loss because of course those memories are getting further and further away.听 And that on a bad 鈥� on a negative day that saddens me.听 On most of the other days I鈥檓 thinking I鈥檓 so glad I鈥檝e got those reference points and they contribute to my feeling of whole, of my existence, which for 25 years was a sighted young man.

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White

But that does bring us back to why here, because you could 鈥� I mean it鈥檚 a lovely spot, I鈥檝e been enjoying the silences but I鈥檝e also been thinking, as a blind person, it鈥檚 not where I鈥檇 want to stay, not even for a year, let alone for the rest of my life because you鈥檙e away from public transport, you鈥檙e quite a long way from shops, you鈥檙e away from the things which make it easier for a blind person to operate independently, so you鈥檝e put yourself deliberately in that position.

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Lane

Absolutely right and when Liz and I were deciding where we were going to be in France we did not want to replicate Farnham or London in France, absolutely not.听 We wanted to get out of our comfort zones and that was the point because it鈥檚 not as risky as it sounds, we鈥檙e only here for a year, we鈥檙e going back home, we haven鈥檛 sold our house, we haven鈥檛 moved to France.听 I mean that would be a completely different proposition and I鈥檇 be getting a bit worried now, if we had done that.

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White

I wasn鈥檛 thinking of it as risky, I was thinking more of the fact that you have put yourself in a situation where you are more dependent on Liz than you would have been in those places.听 And I鈥檓 wondering why you thought you needed to do that.

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Lane

Because I鈥檓 a great believer that life has got to be stimulating and life has got to be different.听 And a year 鈥� a year in the country could have been in the UK but okay it鈥檚 in France.听 A year in rural France to me is a chapter of my life, of our lives, that we are never going to forget.听 And ultimately that鈥檚 what it鈥檚 about because the older we get we acquire more memories, don鈥檛 we, because more of our lives are in the past.

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White

But you mention the fact that you鈥檙e in France, that鈥檚 another element that鈥檚 made it potentially difficult for you.听 I know you do speak a little French but I mean the thing that equals life up for blind people is language, it is the ability to ask, to engage, we can鈥檛 do as much with gestures and eye movements and all that stuff, we use language 鈥� you鈥檝e taken away another element really where you鈥檙e not quite on the equal terms you would have been in the UK.

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Lane

Yeah, you鈥檙e spot on, of course, but again that鈥檚 the thrill of it, you see.

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White

So, you鈥檙e a masochist?

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Lane

Well, maybe slightly.听 But I鈥檓 just intrigued 鈥� life has got to have colour, sorry all these colour analogies and sighted analogies, but life for me has to be interesting and stimulating.听 And even if it鈥檚 frustrating from time to time, bimbling around rural France with my wooden stick, not sticking French terribly well, being misunderstood by someone in the shop, you know, yeah sometimes you bang your head but actually it鈥檚 life enhancing as well, it鈥檚 enriching.

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Actuality 鈥� Richard and Liz cooking

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White

Of course, there was a period, wasn鈥檛 there, when Liz wasn鈥檛 here because she went off to New Zealand, so you then did have to cope in this environment that you鈥檝e explained why you chose it, but that would have opened up to you what life would be like, for example, if you lived here on your own.

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Lane

That鈥檚 right and I was very lucky I did have a couple of friends, at different times, who came out to stay and to help me but I also had a few days by myself.听 We have terrific neighbours, very close by, so if I ever get stuck Joan and Sam are at hand.听 But actually I loved it too and again I was beginning to discover parts of myself that I didn鈥檛 really know existed because I鈥檓 a sociable creature and I love having my friends to stay but actually to have downtime where I was on my own in the house with Topper for three days, it鈥檚 like wow, right, I鈥檓 going to go and light the stove now by myself and do some cooking and do my reading and play my violin.听 And do you know for a few days that was just terrific.

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White

But I bet when Liz is here if you want to do something you just do it and I鈥檓 sure you jump in the car and off you go.听 What about when that thought came upon you and there wasn鈥檛 a car and a Liz?

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Lane

It鈥檚 a great question and I remember chatting to my two very close blind friends and they were semi-appalled that I was going to live in the country where I couldn鈥檛, with Topper or even with a cane, walk, tap, my way down a pavement to a caf茅 or a village or do something independently.听 And the thought of giving up independence like that, both when Liz is here, because you have to have a car where we are, and when Liz isn鈥檛 here, yeah, it was a worry and that was a massive adjustment to make.

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White

Weren鈥檛 your blind friends right?听 I mean how do you make an adjustment to not being able to go where you want to go when you want to go there?

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Lane

You just have to say 鈥� I can鈥檛 have my own way, I can鈥檛 just do 鈥� I鈥檓 out of my comfort zone.听 I suppose that goes back to the point about coming here in the first place.

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White

But there are enough restrictions in being blind in the first place, why impose a few more?

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Lane

Yeah, because I think by closing off a few more avenues it then gives you more of an opportunity to focus on the things that you can do.听 Less sometimes is more.

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White

I鈥檓 just trying to compute these two things together with the sense you said you had days of and a period of depression because you were thinking about these aspects but you鈥檝e also described it as a time you enjoyed.听 Can you put those two things together for me?

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Lane

Yeah, because the moments of 鈥� what I call it really is 鈥� I mean the depression thing, it is erratic, it鈥檚 very occasional and it鈥檚 happened over 25 years, it hasn鈥檛 increased since I鈥檝e been in France, it鈥檚 just part of my experience of being blind, having been sighted and lost my sight.听 I call it part of my territory, of my experience of blindness.听 Just because you have the odd moment where you鈥檙e feeling a bit depressed doesn鈥檛 mean you鈥檙e not around that still having a stimulating and interesting time.听 And that鈥檚 more life goes on in my blind life the more I believe that鈥檚 just part and parcel of being blind.

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White

Just remind us a bit about the circumstances of losing your sight because you did lose it at a time which 鈥� I mean there鈥檚 not, probably everyone would say, there鈥檚 not a great time to lose your sight but you were a young man, you were at the beginning of life, you were beginning to do all the things that excite people, like driving and stuff.

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Lane

Yeah, and you know I鈥檇 just moved to London, I鈥檇 just started my career, I was living with my mates in a flat in South London, the world was my oyster, except I became blind.听 And when I think back on it now I always struggle to believe that it was me experiencing that.听 I feel as though I鈥檓 talking about or describing someone else who went through that.听 But of course, for everything that鈥檚 bad there are 鈥� I have been lucky 鈥� always worked, as I said, terrific friends and family and I鈥檝e never felt 鈥� I鈥檝e always had help.听 Whilst the blindness could make me feel very lonely I鈥檝e never been alone, there鈥檚 always been people around and I think that made a great difference.

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White

How well were you prepared for it?听 I don鈥檛 mean psychologically 鈥� yourself 鈥� I mean how much were the facilities there to help you understand what you were going to have to do?

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Lane

I got some brilliant help.听 I remember getting help from RNIB at their employment rehabilitation place down in Torquay, no longer exists.听 I learnt long cane training.听 The rudiments of braille, touch typing pretty quickly, so I could get back to work and do that stuff.听 So that stuff was good.听 What was awful at the time 鈥� social services were just more than useless, I ended up telling them more than they could tell me and that was before we even had the internet, I couldn鈥檛 even look it up, it was ridiculous.听 That was pretty poor.听 I remember contacting RNIB, I was desperate for counselling, for some emotional support and again in those days the RNIB would just give you the telephone number of the British Association of Counselling in Warwickshire and you would then give them a ring and they鈥檇 say sorry, I don鈥檛 know much about visual impairment.听 And so, I ended up getting some private counselling for a little bit.听 And clearly things have improved in that area now I know.听 So, yeah, it was 鈥� I was just puzzled really with it all.听 I mean I was lucky that the practical help I got was good and that got me back up and going.

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White

So, what鈥檚 the significance of walking along here, as you are doing, with your stick?

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Lane

Well I just sort of started doing it without even thinking about it.听 Bought a walking stick, because I just always wanted a walking stick, never had one, got one from the village shop 鈥� it鈥檚 called a champignon, because the top of it鈥檚 shaped like a mushroom.听 And gradually as we walk out onto this very quiet road that leads to our local village called Saint-Avit you hardly see a car, I mean you might get a tractor, you might get one car in 20 minutes or something.听 It suddenly dawned on me and actually I鈥檓 using my stick, I鈥檓 not holding on to Liz鈥檚 arm, then it dawned on me 鈥� that鈥檚 actually quite useful because when I get back home in September Topper will be fully retired and I then go on the waiting list for a new guide dog, which could take six to 12 months.

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White

Richard, I can imagine some people saying 鈥� having heard all the things that you鈥檝e been saying and your story 鈥� well that鈥檚 all very well, I鈥檓 living in a council flat, they鈥檙e arguing about whether I鈥檓 going to get Personal Independence Payments or not, my social worker never turns up.听 What do you think what you鈥檝e been saying says to someone like that?

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Lane

Well you know I can only give you my personal account of my journey from sight into blindness and the blind life I鈥檝e had.听 And I realise everyone鈥檚 different and not everyone can just come and swan off to the Perigord for a year and all the rest of it.听 But I think any blind person who鈥檚 getting frustrated or thinking of ways to approach their life with blindness, whatever their situation, wherever they鈥檙e living, surely we can generalise a little bit from some of the stuff we鈥檝e been talking about, which is about focusing on what you can do, don鈥檛 spend all your time being miserable about the things you cannot do, develop some interests 鈥� passions.听 There鈥檚 so much out there and it鈥檚 so much easier to access stuff now than it was 25 years ago.听 Look at books and stuff we can put on smart phones and the way we read and access information and stuff, it鈥檚 just unbelievable.听 So, in my quarter century of blindness I would say life has got easier in many, many ways.听 I just think we鈥檝e got to try and focus on the positives.听 You can still have a very enriching, stimulating life without sight, it鈥檚 not the end of the road.

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Music 鈥� violin playing

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