Â鶹Éç

An epiphany is a flash of inspiration, a moment of enlightenment – like when I watched Roger Hunt score a hat trick for Liverpool in the 60s and I knew I would never-ever support another team as long as I lived.

In religious terms, I’ve known people have some pretty amazing epiphanies – like Jean, an abused woman who climbed onto a tall building with a bottle of whisky and some pills intending to throw herself off. But lying semi-drunk on the roof she looked at the stars and suddenly felt enveloped, as if in this massive womb, about to be born. The experience changed her life. And today, she works with other abused women, offering them hope and a way out.

For most of us the light is less clear, the epiphanies more modest. The former poet laureate, Andrew Motion wrote, ‘I’ve seen the light. And it flickers on and off like a badly wired lamp.’ Now that’s my kind of epiphany! He went on to say this is probably the experience of millions of people who inhabit what he called ‘the ambivalent middle ground in religion.’

This year the band U2 are on tour celebrating the 30th anniversary of their ground-breaking album ‘The Joshua Tree’, my favourite U2 record. It includes the hit song ‘I still haven’t found what I’m looking for’, which Bono described as a gospel song with a restless spirit.

Some people thought the song meant Bono had lost his faith. They believe that faith means feeling certain about something, finding a final answer to life’s questions. Well that’s not what my faith is like. I have plenty of doubts, plenty of unanswered questions. I haven’t arrived, haven’t found what I’m looking for. My bulb flickers on and off all the time. But as Pope Francis says, faith that doesn’t have doubt isn’t real faith. It’s certainty and that’s quite a different thing.

For me, faith, like life itself, is all about the journey. I can’t control the future, can’t have all the answers, can’t understand all the mysteries – even though I will keep asking, keep on looking. But I do have now…this moment…this day to live and to relish for all it’s worth.

And I’ll keep on looking for some fresh epiphanies in red shirts… Famino… Llana… Henderson… Courtinio…