麻豆社

We all do it. From worrying about our health and happiness, to whether we’re seen driving the right sort of car, to whether we remembered to turn the oven off.

So should we try to stop worrying, or does anxiety serve a purpose? What advice can we learn from the great philosophers? And what are the tricks we can use to stop ourselves worrying, if we’re concerned that we’re worrying too much? In Something Understood, Mark Tully asks, Why Worry?

Why do we worry?

The modern day can provide us with seemingly infinite reasons to worry. Worrying about status in life, reputation, fame, and keeping up with the Joneses are all common cause for concern. Contemporary philosopher Alain De Botton describes what he calls “status anxiety”:

“A worry that we are currently occupying too modest a rung or about to fall to a lower one. If our position on the ladder is of such concern, it is because our self-conception is so dependent on what others make of us. Rare individuals aside (Socrates, Jesus), we rely on signs of respect from the world to feel tolerable to ourselves.”

So we worry about what other people think of us, and we worry about failure.

Naturally we worry about illness and mental or bodily pain, things Buddha believed were worsened by worry. He described two arrows: the first arrow represents the pain itself, but the hurt is magnified ten times if we allow the second arrow to strike. According to the Buddha, that second arrow strikes when we worry, protest, or get angry about the pain.

It is certainly true too that many of us will worry, even when there is nothing to worry about.

When is worrying good?

Don’t worry if you’re a worrier, it’s not all bad. In fact, it could be good for us.

Those that are worried about skin cancer are more likely to slather on the sun cream; if someone is worried about crashing their car they will drive with more caution, and never drink drive.

If we’re worried about putting weight on, or the health of our heart, it might motivate us to eat a more balanced diet and to exercise regularly.

Worrying can also help us prepare better for challenging experiences in our life: if we are worrying about a job interview or exam we will prepare more thoroughly and subsequently perform better.

Worry encourages us to plan too. Worrying about where we’re going to stay on holiday encourages us to book early and get the best deals! And worrying about our family’s future can lead us to save for a rainy day and plan for every eventuality.

Being a worrier can also help us greater appreciate the good things in life. If we’re braced for bad news, but the news we get turns out to be good – we will feel the benefit more than if we were expecting a positive result. Worriers don’t tend to take good news for granted.

What to do if you’re worrying too much

• Talk to someone – whether that’s a health professional, a partner or a good friend. Alain de Botton’s advice for dealing with the condition of status anxiety is “attempt to understand and speak of it.” A problem shared is a problem halved.

• Try to forget about what other people think of you. (Easier said than done, of course.) John Bunyan, in his hymn “He Who Would Valiant Be”, offers the famous line, “I'll fear not what men say.”

• Write a list – lay out on paper what’s causing your anxiety. It may help to clarify what is causing you turmoil, and allow you to make an action plan for how to rectify or deal with the things that are worrying you.

• Get more sleep – sleep has been proven to reduce anxiety. Sleep gives the brain’s neurons a chance to shut down and repair themselves; sleep deprivation means higher levels of stress hormones in your body.

• Try not to dwell on things when you’re tired – trying to mentally tackle concerns when you’re exhausted, late at night, can make everything seem worse. Try to compartmentalise whatever you’re worrying about and pick it up again in the morning. Things seem better in the light of day.