Â鶹Éç

"We have to get away from the idea that difficulties are horrible things that get in the way of life - they are life!"

Maybe it's because I earn my living trying to see the funny side of life that it really bugs me how disability immediately conjures up images of pain, sadness, and failure in so many people. Right, here are a few reasons why being less than physically able isn't as bad as is often assumed. In fact, believe it or not, it has some fantastic advantages.

Take humour. The other day a cabbie pulled up beside me and told me to stop doing John Cleese's funny walk. I said I didn't know the former Python had copyrighted it! He glared at me and said that he was sure I was offending people. It put a huge smile on my face and brightened up my whole day.

Having a disability can really bring some amusing situations and people into your life that you'd otherwise miss out on. When I'm in a club, for instance, and some guy off his head wants to know what I'm on, I sometimes reply, ""Oxygen deprivation." And they're like, "Wow! Gotta have some of that!" The irony here is that cerebral palsy makes you feel out of control naturally, without drugs. Now don't tell me that isn't going to save you a small fortune in the course of your life!

So you see, a disability can also save you money. In lots of ways. Many is the time I've been on the bus scrummaging in my bag for the pass I know I've left at home while the poor conductor waits to give me a ticket, and I've just carried on scrummaging away until he utters the magic words, "Oh, don't worry, love. Leave it. Here's your ticket." For the record, this technique also works on tubes and trains. I haven't tried it yet in cabs or at airport ticket desks, but you never know.

Another big plus is that someone with my shaky coordination and balance can never, ever do a grotty job like, say, grilling greasy burgers all day for the mimimum wage. It just ain't gonna happen! I've got no choice. I have to aim higher. Reminds me of a character in that Somerset Maugham story who got fired from the local church where he'd helped the vicar run things, after it was discovered that he couldn't read or write. He was a poor man, but within a few years he'd become a millionaire. Asked by journalists where he'd be if he had known how to read and write, he answered, "I'd still be working in the church."

The reason why we rarely link disability with humour, fun or success is that society sees it as one big problem. And problems, of course, are a bad thing. Yet how can they be bad when problems help you to grow and become a stronger person? Anything that does this surely has to be seen as a gift. We have to get away from the idea that difficulties are horrible things that get in the way of life - they are life! Whether we like it or not, we would be the weaker and less admirable without them.

That's why I believe that if geneticists ever did away with human disabilities it would be a terrible thing. The illusion of physical perfection would probably lead to skin-deep values right across the board. And all it would really do is delay some of the fundamental lessons we each have to learn, until our bodies were old and infirm.

It's very revealing who society looks up to: celebrities. The closer to bodily perfection, the better - especially if you're a woman. But come on, these are people who spend most of their lives worrying about their fading looks and worshipping the goddess Collagen! What does that say about us? The rich and famous are put on pedestals for us to try and emulate, but for all their mansions and swimming pools and glamorous lifestyles, how many of them are actually well-balanced, happy individuals? I can think of loads of celebrities who killed themselves on drugs or booze, or wanted to kill themselves because their lives were such a sad mess. Chris Evans got £80 million a few years ago when he sold his interest in the company he'd started. When his career and life went pear-shaped, he says it suddenly hit him that his millions had contributed precisely nothing to his life.

In contrast, the actor Michael J. Fox says that his Parkinson's Disease was an amazing gift because it has taught him what is real in life and what isn't. I couldn't agree more with him. Sure, no one's saying that having a disability is easy, or that it doesn't require a lot of strength and courage to arrive at such a positive and inspiring attitude, but that's exactly my point!