Paper Monitor
13:38 UK time, Thursday, 29 May 2008
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
It is a bumper day for the Sun.
As well as its front-page exclusive on the allegations that an older Indian couple abandoned their IVF twins because they were girls, there are also triumphs inside.
There's a celebrity byline... only Leonardo DiCaprio. He has a personal message for the Sun - watch his new film on the environment and get about saving the planet.
There is more joy further in, with another exclusive about how Scouse builders placed a Liverpool FC-themed time capsule under Gary Neville's pool.
And on the facing page there is the picture story into the "VITAL RESEARCH INTO QUESTION BAFFLING SCIENTISTS". Cure for flu? Secret to eternal life? No, it's "How do breasts bounce?".
But if there was an op-ed triumph in the Sun in getting DiCaprio, there's another one in the Daily Express under the headline "Orwell's 1984 was a grim warning... now it is a manual for UK officialdom".
Paper Monitor isn't clear which council is using the threat of rats eating your face, but it would certainly be a strong incentive to recycling.
Over in the Daily Mirror, there's a dedicated bad puns page. Top story is the tale of students being banned from throwing their mortar boards in the air.. "LOONYVERSITY".
Picture story is the Duchess of York getting out of a car: "Scarer Ferguson".
There's a bit of grouting - a story used to fill the cracks - about the abovementioned research into breasts... "The breast... bra none".
How we laughed.
The 
