Paper Monitor
11:15 UK time, Tuesday, 19 February 2008
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
It's day one of the Guardian's dieting column, penned by the paper's women's editor. This, as you might imagine, for the Guardian, is a delicate issue.
Weight-loss diaries have long been a staple of all the other papers, which have carried them without so much as a hint of concern about the worrying subtext for female self-regard.
But clearly this is a thorny issue for the Guardian, with its roots so firmly planted in the women's movement. And when the paper's feminist figurehead herself decides it's time to shift a few pounds… how post-modern do you have to be to get pull this one off?
The result is a sort of non-dieters dieting column, in which the Guardian clearly believes it is having its cake and eating it, yet magically still not accruing the weight of the misogynistic dieting industry. She bills herself as "the reluctant dieter", for one, and repeats how she likes herself and in no way thinks ill of the fat. She decries the diet industry's reliance on "recidivism", fuelled by pasty "before" v polished "after" photos.
Perhaps future-proofing itself from any similar allegations should the reluctant dieter succeed and wish her byline photo to be updated, her "before" pic presents a well-groomed, smiling face to the world.
Meanwhile, a smirk licked round Paper Monitor's scaly lips while watching David Attenborough on telly last night. The great man, speaking about monitor lizards, pointed out that they were highly intelligent animals, had very acute senses, and "can run continuously for a very long time". Mind you, he did go on to show one clamping its jaws round a scrawny-looking rabbit so perhaps the parallels aren't that reliable.
The 
