BILLIOUS, BLOATED - I HAD NO IDEA.
My mate, the alcoholic, a great guy, no longer a drinker but of course every day the...
...wolf knocks at his door, he's now Mr. Healthy. He has to be, he put his body through so much goodness only knows how he's still here.
Part of his rehabilitation has been to consult a nutrtionist. Last night we were out for dinner and he starts telling me how this guy has changed his life.
Do you, from time to time, fell tired, unfocused, bloated, flatulent ? Say yes. Well here's the reason, apparently.
BACTERIA. Lots of it and most of it, the wrong type, around 90% for the majority of us.
28 days it takes to churn the bad into the good. I'm up for it, I want it, we may even do it on the show tonight.
I've heard the basis of the key to eradication is DON'T EAT ANYTHING WITH YEAST IN IT EVER ! There may be more. Let's find out shall we ?
CLP.
2008.
X.
P.S. The dictionary book is called The Surgeon of Crowthorne.
P.P.S. Good luck with the knobbly, wobbly knees G.
Comments
Hi Chris,
I competely agree that some foods make you feel very poorly. We have some really good friends and when we get together we eat crisps, dips, a rich meal, cheesy cracks (as we call them!), chocolate and drink a couple of glasses of wine. Afterwards and the next day I feel absolutely awful, like I've been poisoned! So why do we do it?
I've been cutting out all the crap from my diet since last Monday and I feel better physically and mentally. But I'll go back to junk food and I just don't know why. I'm determined this time because I want to look and feel good for my 40th, I just don't want to be a bloated wreck!
Gingembre - thinking of you mate xx
Em xx
PS I love cricket and fig rolls!
Does it not also mean no drinking of anything with yeast in it? If so I think that could be the main stumbling block.
Wilsmar
PS Gingembre - see if they do a BOGOF special please..... could do with new knees myself.
A little of what you fancy does you good...
Cricket is the very best - all sport is great to watch and football is becoming too dull and over-rated for its own good!
Good luck Gingembre...
jen ewan
xx
PS Brakes failed on the way home yesterday, that was exciting!
PPS DtM - you sound very cute - got an older brother who's not so bothered by looks?!!
Oh My Gingembre you got a PPS from CLP - congrats and good luck with the keyhole double surgery. Hope you are back on your feet soon and dancing a jig or two.
J poor you having to deal with no brakes - how on earth did you manage to stop the car?? around here there are plenty of bales and manure heaps so you can avoid the trees and rhynes.
I'm hoping this gets through the 502 stage as my attempts to blog in the past have only succeeded 1€ in 6 which insn't good odds.
I got to my car last night and some nice person and winged it and left their hub cap for me - so a trip to the body shop for cars looms and some money out of the pocket as it isn't worth an insurance claim. Oh Joy (its catching) and the car is only 7 months old.
Off back to the drawing board.
Phoenix
Hi Everyone
Sorry in advance if i repeat myself, i think it hasnt posted then it pops up!
I still havent got golf but ask if someone will take me round the course and see what it is all about!
Did anyone watch pushing daisies the other night? I loved it!
Today may be a big day, going to see a possible business venture, a deli. I have no clue if i can get a loan and trying to get my confidence up so I dont feel foolish even asking! Please wish me luck!
em27x
Oops, I've been posting on yesterday's blog. You threw me CLP, posting early today!
No yeast, that means no bread! I would miss bread more than anything.
Good luck Gingembre, hope all goes well for you today x
Good luck Em27. I did see Pushing Daisies and thought it was a little odd but I will persevere with it.
I need to have a website now as I must sell some more cards but I don't know where to start. Can anyone offer any advice or point me in the right direction?
Off now to make a salad,
Love
Debbie x x
Hi Chris
The Surgeon of Crowthorne - by Simon Winchester, I read it about a month ago. What a brilliant book. It was recommended to me by a friend.
In this age of the internet we have access to so much information at our fingertips, but its easy to forget what things were like even 20 years ago, never mind 200.
The book shows how hard putting together a dictionary was back then, and hightlights some quite unique characters who had a major influence on what is now known as the OED.
I read the first 20 pages one evening, and stayed up most of the rest of the night finishing it!
Re the bacteria thing, I'd be interested to see how that works out. I've heard about these sort of diets before, but have been wary of the claims that they work, hope it works for you.
Joe
How on earth can you manage to wait 28 days to rid your body of bad stuff - surely, a lot of what we consume has bacterio ensconsed - v v intrigued.
Anyways, see if you can get more details on the show, Big Chief.
I once started reading a dictionary, ages and ages ago - to be honest, very little storyline to it but at least every word was explained as you go along * . .
DtM x
*Les Dawson, circa 1978.
I just ate some cashew nuts out of the bottom of my bag. My bag where I had at the weekend split shampoo. I may never ever eat cashews again.
DWNB
Hello, least of all yeast one and all
I definetley think this can have a bad reaction. Yeast is of course in most wines, beers, spirits etc, as well as food stuffs.
I count myself lucky as I never feel bloated etc. But I do eat in moderation and avoid sweet stuff.
I can't tolerate dairy products, so cream filled cakes do nothing for me. So maybe the reaction of sugar and yeast is the key to setting off turbulance in the tum. A bit like the reaction you see when home brewing the yeast reacting with the sugar bubbling away to make alcohol.
It's a wonder we are not all drunk most of the time.
Hope this helps.
Oh and Gimgembre, hope your knees improve soon. You can borrow my motorised scooter with pleasure.
Tally Ho
The 'Surgeon Of Crothorne' is one of the best books I have ever read. Give 'Times Arrrow' by Martin Amis a read, it's amaaing.
David
HI CLP,
I can tell you exactly what it is all about!! Last year i had a allergy test done with a machine called Bioresonance - it changed my life!!
Basically yeast, wheat, sugars (in all forms), preservatives, especially citric acid and MSG (found in things like crisps, snacks), any fruit, vinegar can lead to a condition called Candida Albican growing in the stomach. This is what causes the flatulence, bloating and tiredness. The key is to cut out all those types of food and eat as organic as possible. You then end up having little parasites in your stomach (i know sounds disgusting!) They in turn then end up breeding and having there only little eco system in you, so you have to have a strict diet of removing all the bad stuff from your diet - and i'm afraid that includes Alcohol!!!!! However i did feel amazing, oh and you have to drink at least 2 litres of water a day. I have now converted to this new way of life and i stick to the diet that i followed, i can occasionally have a "day off" but i try to stick to it every day. As they say - you are what you eat!!
I AM , THEREFORE I EAT.
DWNB
Hi Chris
Many thanks for letting us know name of book, much appriciated.
Re yeast thing - in wine should be fine and not affect you (otherwise I'm out of business)
My friend is intolerant but eats things with yeast in them and then take immodium - ugh
thanks again
Jo
Afternoon each
'fraid I'll have stay bloated and bilious. Can't do without my toast and apricot jam for brekkie. I try to eat healthily but a kind man popped into our Centre this morning with two boxes of Thorntons chocolates (other brands available) and I ate 6! Think they were meant for our service users but I couldn't stop once I'd started.
Tried to tell you all about the 'Round Ireland with a fridge' yesterday but it didn't get through. Great book - hee hawing on my own like a lunatic. What a nice man Tony Hawks is - check out his website. He's got a house in France which he makes available to people who can't afford a holiday. Not many like him methinks.
Anne x
G - finkin' of ya! You'll be can-canning round The forum before you know it!!!
Take care.
CtD x x x
Does that mean I can't eat my Marmite, take away Chinese?? Monosodium thing um ee bob?? or red wine!!! Must tell us more - or may be not?
Must admit you know when you have eaten/drunk rubbish - I find I am sick!! Fresh fruit only for my breakfast, pannini for lunch and fairly decent meal at night - only get meat from my butcher who sources locally and buy organic when I can afford it. Drink too much wine and tea but I do always have pint of water at night! Not bloated but fat - yes!!!
Gingembre it should be all over by now? If they want to take any fluid off the knee - don't let them!!
Phoenix - that is just hateful when that happens - hopefully he/she will drive straight in to a dung heap - with the window open. I will twitch my nose to make it happen.
Debbie - get the old website up and running we are all interested!
Feeling Much better now!!! I am one of those awful folk who laugh my socks off when someone falls over - through a chair, walks in to something etc. etc. Two as follows:-
Telephone conversation with the old git who refused carer/nursing help - now stuck on commode - there is a God - been there at least an hour!
Listening in to telephone conversation just now -
Where is the water coming from - on your path? Right. What have you done? Dug it up - OK - and what's happened? What was a damp patch now you have removed the soil is a water spout!!!
Better phone the Water board. You have? they've been? And they can't turn the mains water stop cock off!!!! Tee Heee!!
By the way, sorry if this is you but I need the loo!!
Biggles Mum xxxx
Just noticed the PPS Chris, you really do read the blog! And as Gingembre is one of the most thoughtful people on here it's only fair he gets a mention.
Nic M - sounds fascinating and life changing, don't know if I could stay on that wagon for too long though. Did you have a lot more energy? I would love to do something like that but I'm a bit lacking in the willpower department.
Pushing Daisies was lovely, reminded me a bit of a Tim Burton film. Still loving Mad Men, catch it if you can.
Em xx
i am, therefore i eat.
yum
dwnb
chris ...planning permission very very very important indeed...tell the missus...you need it..need it as a freind of mine found out to his extreme cost. as an ex construction opperative perfect planning prevents pathetic performance.....oh yes...missed the show again eh oh.
j
Your words have been absorbed and mulled over. I think you're right. To find the way back to the path you have to take yourself away completely, cleanse the mind and look at the whole picture from a different angle.
Thank you.
Sorry I missed the well-wishing before the op, Gingembre. I hope it all went well and that you'll be joining us at The M soon. I currently am indebted to the tune of two pints, one for Dan the Man (the black stuff) and one for CLP (whatever takes your fancy - yeast-free?).
I am feeling more positive today. I nearly threw in the towel at work yesterday. On my way to a meeting when I felt that I could barely face another human being, I listened to some tragic stories on 5 Live. By the time I arrived I was ready to walk away from it all. The saving grace was leaving early and getting to the gym in time to listen to the show on my mini DAB (in between all those strange squirty noises you get when the signal drops a touch. Mostly during sit-ups, I noticed).
So what next?
It is tempting, with my existing contract, to chuck it in to make myself feel better, knowing that I have a couple of months to come to terms with what I have done and formulate a plan to move forward, but I guess that would be foolhardy. Maybe the changes need to take place in other areas? Someone suggested today that I should sign up for the London Marathon next year. That would certainly give me something to focus upon and strive for, albeit would probably maim me in the process.
I don't know. Sometimes I feel that I am the luckiest guy on earth. I have a beautiful, wonderful wife, a nice house, a bit of cash and my health. Other times I want to, well, you know.
Herding goats in Finland, finally spewing out the book that has been festering inside for so many years, simply walking away, or pulling myself together and getting a grip on reality. Those are the choices.
I just can't make the decision. Does that sound like self-pity, madness or a mid-life crisis at 37?
Thank you for putting up with this lunacy.
Peace & love
MfR
Gingembre - Good luck with your op - I had "keyhole" on my cartlidge back in 1988 when it was ('scuse the pun) cutting edge technology. Stayed awake for the op and made a right pratt of meself by checking half way through he was operating on the correct knee!!! Well, you hear all these horror stories don't you.
After the op it is all exercise to build the muscles etc back up - you'll be surprised how heavy your legs seem - but persevere - it works in the end.
Rushed out and bought some probiotic vitamins -took the first tonight...... then realised I don't know when I should expect to feel the benefit..... the guy didn't say did he? It's not in the leaflet thingy you get in the box either. Is this the 28 days DtM is mentioning? Anyone know?
Don't drink, don't smoke and don't date......there is nothing else left to give up is there? If summer ever arrives I should be raady for it. Won't hold my breathe though.
TTFN
LadyP
MfR
It took me ages to finally leave my job. Lots of soul searching, trying to work out how my decision would effect my family. Would it be for the better or worse etc. With this on the back of my mind for ages a single incident put the process in motion. And I have not regretted it once since.
If you can't make the decision now let nature take it's course.
I'm not really good with words, but just wanted to let you know that how you feel isn't madness or self-pity and I really hope that things seem clearer for you soon.
Debbie x
MfR - start the book.....without question! And give the Marathon a go.... I did it, slowly, a few years ago after my Dad died. Always believed it an impossible challenge, but I did it and so can you.....
Debbie - afraid I can't help with the website (even the blog is a challenge at times!!), but I'm so glad you're thinking about setting one up and I'm sure it'll be a very successful venture.
Candles x
Mfr
I hope you don’t mind me commenting on your post, but at 37 your life is still only unfolding. I think it’s just a stage you are going through. Life can throw all sorts of challenges at us without the need to find goals in my opinion.
I think sometimes what we seek is our true selves. Writing is therefore probably a good way of expressing yourself.
I don’t think you are anything except normal. The only lunatic on the blog being myself. But you know something, having found my true self I don’t care what people think anymore. Life is not a rehearsal so enjoy every moment.
PS It’s very cold in Finland you will need thermals.
Debbie. I find it’s quite easy to set up your own blog. You just need to go and sign up at one of the sites such as My Space or Blogspot. Some of the guys on here are on My Face. I myself had my account deleted on My face because they said my name was not real. They must have M15 working for them or something.
Tally Ho
Wow, a personal message for you Gingembre - you are blessed!
MfR - thinking of you. I'm in a bit of a job crisis at the mo'. I'm bored out of my brain where I am currently so I'm wondering whether I should find something else. However, Mr P and I are thinking of going travelling next year so I'm not sure whether it would be worth going through the ball-ache rigmarole of finding another job, getting settled in etc only to up sticks with me rucksack.
I dunno - it's never easy, is it? And I really hope it's not a mid-life crisis - I'm only 24!! Maybe it's in the stars? Where is our resident astrologer when you need him?
Hope you work it out, MfR.
In a bit,
Rosie x
Chris, you are not wrong
Howya chaps.
I'm back from Ireland a tad early owing to some frightening news re. Renee's health so as she's in need of some support and tlc, not to mention accompanying to hospital visits, you've got my manic musings to put up with sooner than expected.
There's summat in the air at the moment it seems. What with injuries, accidents and job crises it's not easy keeping the old chin up sometimes is it. And yet I open the paper to see the radiant, smiling faces of those bright, gorgeous girls killed in Ecuador, their futures obliterated and leaving their parents heartbroken forever, and I realise we're all blessed.
So keep the peckers up one and all. I will if yous do in the months ahead. It makes me sick to the stomach with fear to think of Renee following in the route of my lovely auntie last year but I'll be there for her all the way, and I'm saving a bit of virtual tlc for yous lot too.
Clodagh.xx
Hey everyone
Its nice to be back reading the blog, I didnt for ages and forgot how good it was.
EmM I thought pushing daisies was very tim burton too! Hope ITV stick with it!
MfR I totally agree with you, I am married to a great guy, have a great 4 year old and some days I love life and other days i just want to go round the world now! Im 27 so hopefully not a mid life crises, i think just a whole heap of restlesness hey! I really do not like my job but have loads of debt from a mis spent youth and consequently have very few options!
As for the healthy eating, i keep it balenced and try and run but i have bad days, i have a friend that did cut all that out and ended up really ill and was on tablets for a year and got very obsessed so i think balence is the key!
em27x
Come on - you are all babies!!! Life has a lot more to chuck at you yet!
Sometimes you just go with the flow and other times stand there and let the waves hit you - both can be just as refreshing! All part of lifes great tapestry and to quote old Del boy - sometimes you get a dropped stitch.
Make the most of each day - good or bad - it wont be here again.
Lecture over - now all together - big smile please?
Biggles Mum xxx
what can I say?
Thank you for the message Chris, I was a bit shocked to say the least.
Plus a huge thank you to all for the messages received this week.
Op went ok, both knees are heavily strapped at the mo'. I'm in alot of discomfort and pain today but hopefully this is the beginning of the end and I can soon start to blog about something else???
I couldn't get up the stairs last night so had to kip on the sofa!!!!!
You should all try to get off the loo today without being able to bend your legs.....v difficult!!!
Bonnet de douche my lovely people, cheers again CLP, top man
KWx
Also CLP.
This yeast stuff.
It's really way more complicated than singling out one element within our diets and eradicating it as the way to solve our bodily issues.
If you think about it, for the vast majority of us, the way we FEEL about our bodies is just that. It's feeling as opposed to the reality. When you feel fat, what you're really feeling is HEAVY. You know, weighed down. And that is probably emotional more than physical. Therefore try this. Next time you catch yourself thinking "I feel fat/ I am fat", stand up straight and say instead, "I feel fat....thank god I'm NOT."
Of course, there are some people who do have serious health issues with obesity and that's a problem which needs taking further and not for the likes of me to preach about. But for those of you here who, I suspect, are like myself and are prone to self-flagellate over their physical appearance, it's our heads that need sorting out rather than obsessing about what we eat.
Different foods have different effects upon the brain and its stimulation of the production of serotonin, the body's natural mood-regulator, endorphins, our painkillers, and dopamine, our chillers. When this balance becomes disturbed we go a bit bonkers. That's the technical term by the way for daft.
So if we just eat when we're hungry and stop when we're satisfied, drink when we're thirsty and cut out the crap, and by that I mean MacDonalds, coke and crisps, not yeast, we'll all be a lot better.
Mind you. Girls. There's a cautionary mantra as used by mt marvellous eejit friend Mad Maggie which always makes me laugh.
Outside every thin woman is a fat woman tryin' to get in.
Clodagh.xx
Clodagh,
You are a bloody genius. Every word a treasure, really.
Gingembre, I tried and I tried and I TRIED to let you know I was thinking of you before the op. 502'd - you know the feeling. Everyone is thinking of you - including Chris Evans!
C xx
Clodagh, that's where I've gone wrong I let the fat woman in! That was the easy part the hard part is getting the thin woman out!
Not going to say anything else cos I will only get 502'd anyway and anything I type will be a waste of time!
What's the betting this one gets through?
Just incase - Love you all xxxxxx
Mary xx
Gingembre
You can get up the stairs backwards on your bottom but not sure about the loo. Personally, just didn't go!
Biggles Mum xxx