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Set in Sheffield. The British characters have strong Sheffield accents.
(A big, burly man tries to creep stealthily up to a window. The night is dark and he's carrying a tattered-looking video camera. The audience can see through the window, where two Chinese table tennis players playing a very fast, tricky game of table tennis. The man films them through the window, when they see him and point. He quickly packs up his camera and disappears into the night.
The scene changes swiftly as possible to the next morning: set in a slightly grubby, but well-lit room with a shiny, plastic red floor. Two table tennis tables are standing in the centre. The big, burly man is there, acting as a coach to some British players practising table tennis. On one table is a teenage girl, Katy, who is playing against a younger boy, James, who is overweight and doesn't look like he's having much fun. The coach is standing by, watching them intently.
On the other table are two teenage boys, David and Dennis who are 17 and 16 respectively. They're messing around and half-watching the other game.
Katy delivers a smash shot and James tuts without even having tried to reach for the ball. He walks away to pick up the ball.)
Coach: (to Katy) Well played, love.
James: (from across the room) I hate table tennis.
Coach: (tightly) No you don't.
(Katy walks past David and Dennis, who are sitting down, to get a drink from her bag.)
David: That were good, Katy.
(She smiles, takes a drink and walks back over to the coach. Dennis smirks at David, nudges him suggestively and winks.)
Dennis: Eh, Dave.
(The coach claps his hands loudly to get everyone's attention.)
Coach: We've got an important match tomorrow_
David: We'll smash 'em.
Coach: (shrugs) They're Chinese.
David: So?
Dennis: We're better then.
Coach: You an't seem 'em play. I'll show yeh.
James: I don't want to play.
Coach: Yer a reserve.
(He takes the tattered video camera out of his bag, and the team gather round him, pushing each other out of the way to get the best view. They watch the camera in wonder and horror. On it is what the coach filmed of the Chinese players the night before.)
Dennis: (explosively) Cor.
David: (in quiet wonder)
James: I'm glad ah'm just the reserve.
Katy: (to the coach) What we gonna do?
Coach: (grimly) Practise.
(The coach turns off the television. They all get up and start playing determinedly. The coach walks around the room, watching them and occasionally grabbing the bats off them to show them the moves.
It goes dark. When it lights up again, the team are fast asleep, slumped across the floor. A bright light from the window falls across the coach's face. He wakes up and checks his watch.)
Coach: Bloody 'ell. Wake up the lot of yeh! (He runs around the room, shaking them to get onto their feet.) We've only got five minutes!
(They all stagger to their feet. There comes a banging noise and then the patter of feet. They all exchange looks like the world's about to end, when the door bursts open. The Chinese players enter, smiling widely.)
Chinese coach: Hello!
(He winks at the coach, putting out his hand to shake.)
Coach: (takes hand, looking uncomfortable) Hi.
(The Chinese team smile around. There are two boys on the team, one is about eleven ' the reserve ' the other is seventeen and more self-assured. There are also two girls, both fourteen. The younger boy guffaws at the coach and mimes him using a video camera ' to the amusement of the girls. The Chinese coach shakes his head at them and frowns. The English coach looks slightly embarrassed, but he pretends he hasn't heard the young boy's jibe at his spying on them earlier on in the play.
The first match is Dennis against one of the girls. He steps up to the table, looking nervous. She serves first and he misses the shot')
Coach: 11-7 to_ (He pauses, staring avidly at the name on his sheet on the clipboard and trying to work out how to pronounce it.)
Chinese Coach: (filling in) Yuanyuan.
(Dennis steps back.)
David: (in Dennis's ear, teasingly) Beaten by a girl.
(Katy steps forward. She serves and the Chinese girl she's playing against misses')
Coach: 11-9 to Eng_ er, Katy.
(James and the younger Chinese boy are sitting in a corner, connecting their game boys together and laughing. Yuanyuan, the girl who beat Dennis, flutters her eyes at him and Dennis smiles back. David steps forward, as does the older Chinese boy.)
Coach: (in David's ear) If we win this, David'
(The Chinese boy serves and David delivers straight back. They start playing a very fast game. They carry on playing as the curtains go down.)
THE END